Posts Tagged ‘Buddhist’

Apparently I am spineless with no will power or I am a master of the Buddhist art of forgiveness and letting go. I went over last night. I was mad. I said no, no, no. Then I realized, who am I really hurting here? Am I going to benefit myself here at all by being bratty and “punishing” him by staying home? No. We need to have a talk, yes. But things aren’t changing between now and then. Increasing intimacy by withholding sex because I feel ignored, well, it is only going to lead to him ignoring me more. It is NOT going to increase intimacy. At the end of the day, I do need to ask this… WHO did he ask over? Was it someone else? No, it was me. He has a shitty way of showing he cares, he is a moron with regards to common sense acceptable behaviors (ahem, photo on OkCupid) and his online trolling habit is ANNOYING, but, at the end of the day, when he has the time after a business trip, I am the one he wants in his bed. This has to account for something. It doesn’t resolve the issues, and it certainly doesn’t make our need for a conversation about all of this any less urgent, but, it does show that he is choosing me. sorta.

By the way, the sex last night ROCKED!!!

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I can respect and appreciate calm personalities. There is a very appealing zen quality to it all. The reality is this… how much ass does a calm collected Buddhist Monk (he is not a B.M., I’m just using it as an example, btw) get versus a passionate excitable individual? Yes, I am talking about the difference between T.G. and C.F., again. I have a friend visiting from California and due to some rather obnoxious training scheduling with my new job, I have to work most of the time he is here, SO, my man Type Geek agreed to entertain him last night. However, I somehow made it out of work early and was able to meet up with both of them and enjoy the drinking fun at a local pub known for their beer list.It was a fun time, T.G. really liked my friend, my friend really liked T.G. and in the later hours I even received a message via text from Type Geek about how he would have really liked my naked body laying next to him. That was impressive of him to say, he is always so quiet and shy. I encouraged it by responding that I find it really HOT when he initiates or makes such aggressive comments. Hopefully he takes that lead a bit.

Type Geek is great, he IS, I don’t mean to say he isn’t. It is just… just. Have you ever had someone who would push you against buildings or into alcoves to kiss you passionately as you walked alongside them? Sigh, Cooper Fiennes did that, A LOT. I felt wanted and sexy, ALL of the time. Okay, I am a girl, so not ALL of the time, but MOST. He really made me feel desired, it was incredibly hot. With Type Geek, I wonder if I am his buddy and if I really turn him on, but then he is turned on and we have sex and weee, sorta. 9/10ths of sex for me is the stuff leading up to it. C.F. might not have made me cum, but he got me off psychologically. T.G. gets me off physically, but not always in my head.

Can you all chime in? Have you experienced this in your own lives? I know you readers are out there, I see the numbers and I know from where most of you come thanks to WordPress and it’s awesome “back end”.¬† Nice ass Word Press. ūüėȬ† So, c’mon, give a girl some feedback here once and a while.

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Things have been quiet and so serious here lately, haven’t they? The dating has fallen by the wayside the last few weeks.¬†I own a business and¬†I have been very preoccupied with buying inventory¬†for an upcoming event. It’s one of those yearly events that just always catches me by surprise. Suddenly its three weeks¬†away and¬†I am freaking out, calling vendors and apologizing and kissing the ass of my¬†UPS guy to ensure I get all my packages in time for the event. Then its two weeks away and I’m realizing¬†I don’t have¬†a banner and some of the things I used in past years for display, just won’t cut it if I want a seemless professional¬†presentation.¬†One week away and the day I schedule to ransack the retail shops is Easter. My barista friend has a huge car and a huge heart and is willing to spend his day off driving me all over this godforsaken¬†state. I called ahead, I really did. Of the planned shops to visit, two were open. One had two items I could grab and the other was out of the bookshelves I needed. Shit Shit¬†Shit. So, I spent 7 hours and¬†6 towns to go to 2 stores and get only some of the things I needed. The other stores, they closed early because it was slow. No shit, that’s why I was shopping that day, because it was going to be quiet! Sigh. Why does ONE religion¬†and the celebration of it’s holidays create such a ripple effect across state and federal levels? We don’t close down stores for Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist, or Pagan holidays, then WHY do we shut down shop for Jesus? I question in a bad economy, whether¬†having stores open later on Easter Sunday is wise. I personally¬†watched 15 cars pull in and out of Home Depot as we had, after realizing they were closed, without a¬†sign stating that they were¬†shutting up¬†early for the holiday. Some people do church and some people do brunch on Easter Sunday and after that, they try to escape the¬†family clenches and run their¬†errands before the start of the week, only to be¬†shot down by a locked door. Sigh. This may offend, and I do not intend for it to offend any of my¬†faith-based¬†readers, however, IF someone is dead and raises from the dead… isn’t that stuff out of George Romero films? Isn’t that Shaun of the Dead action there? Wouldn’t that have made Jesus a zombie? Zombies are cool, but hey, a consumerist holiday surrounding the consumption of large amounts of¬†genetically modified high fructose corn syrup and artificial dye filled snacks, all hiding under the guise of a¬†zombie? I’m not buying it. (For full disclosure, I believe Jesus was a¬†prophet, as were so many others. Do I believe that the¬†spiritual world begins and ends with him, no, I most certainly do not. I do respect those who put their faith there however. Find your happiness and your¬†spiritual contentment wherever¬†you may, as long as it provides peace, acceptance, understanding and love to ALL)

Now,¬†¬†because of all of this chaos with getting ready for my event,¬†I just haven’t had time to go out on any dates. I had two gentlemen on the back-burner¬†for the weekend, IF I had time, but I just didn’t. I have a home waxing kit for the legs, just no time. I haven’t had time to tweeze¬†my eyebrows even. I did however give up sugar AND I told french fries that I needed a break in our long-standing¬†relationship. My winter diet subsided on a lot of stress, sugar, french fries and some moderate , and at times, not so moderate, amounts of alcohol. Time for some healthier decision-making¬†on what goes into the body. The reality of any thing tiny and strappy¬†right now, I shudder to think. Shudder to Think is an amazing band by the way. They did the soundtrack for High Art. Quite awesome.

When I am stressed and trying to work through an event or project, I get overwhelmed mentally and tangenty, as can be seen above. Maybe some hotties will come into my booth this weekend. Maybe someone wickedly adorable¬†will flirt me up and ask for my number, how AWFUL would that be? ūüėČ

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