Archive for August, 2010

Any complaints or worries I might have had in the past regarding Type Geek and our sexual style burned up over the weekend when he brought his A game to town. He was away on business for most of the week and I wasn’t sure that we would even see each other this weekend, in fact, I was pretty sure we wouldn’t. When he texted me prior to flying back on Friday night and suggested I come by after work I was quite pleased. I assumed we would have a little fun and I would be back home by noon as I knew he had work to do. Apparently I was the only work he had to do, as his meeting was postponed and so, over the next 30 hours, we proceeded to have sex 4 times. They weren’t quickies either. Nor were they predictable relationship style sex. Woo hoo! Right?!

Okay, grass is greener, yada yada…. let me say THIS. Should you compete in sexual olympics during the summer, be certain to consume enough fluids to stay hydrated because moderate dehydration and minor heat stroke the next day while wandering around in the summer heat is awful. Fever, cold sweats, nausea, confusion, weakness… those aren’t the things you want to be feeling the day after a sexual marathon. Blissed out and relaxed, yes. Clammy, pasty and green, not so much.

I guess this goes to show that safe sex isn’t just about std’s but also body maintenance. You’ll blow an engine if you drive a car without oil… you’ll kill your body if you run it without water. I get it, understood. Lesson learned.

Speaking of safe sex…. I’m thinking of going on the pill as a preemptive regulator for my period. Years ago, when I worked with a large rotating group of women, I suffered from the insecure period…it was never the leader. I’d start working with a new woman and bam, I would suddenly be following her cycle, regardless of the fact that I just had my period two weeks earlier. The worst was having my period 3 times in a month and a half. I don’t want to do this again, hence my considering the pill. An obvious benefit of the pill is no longer needing to consider condoms, at least as a form of birth control. It is weird to hear myself say that out loud. I know that it has been nearly a year since I jumped the fence, but somethings are still strange to think about or hear. Ten years ago I switched to a lesbian doctor at a clinic that specialized with the LGBT community because I was sick of the doctors asking, right off the bat, when I had a menstrual issue, “Are you pregnant?”, or even better, “How can you be sure that you aren’t pregnant, we should do tests” . Hmm, until two clits rubbing together can spontaneously create the magic of childbirth… highly unlikely. Jesus Christ

So, anyway, I am considering the pill… I am also considering dumping the condoms with Type Geek. Here comes the question… Neither of us are dating anyone else, do we need to have a conversation about us prior to our conversation about my going on the pill? Can we be casually exclusive? Is there such a thing? Chime in…. and make sure you are drinking your fluids.

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1/2 pint Haagen Daaz Bananas Foster
1/2 bag Honey Coated Cashews
1 Tablespoon SUPER AWESOME Jamaican Rum

Type Geek has left the state. I bought new lingerie, drank with some co-workers at my new job, ate nachos THEN steak frites..and flirted shamelessly with both. Would I sleep with either? No. Back in the day… both. She is HOT, young, dreadlocked and sexy. Him? He is physically close to Type Geek but stretched out two inches taller. A bit self-assured and cocky, but I think he could probably follow through and satisfy.

We all gathered at a local hipster joint renowned for the fixies parked out front and vegan foods inside. She is semi raw and I am gluten intolerant, and they sell beers the two of them like and cider for the boozy allergic girl. The conversation jumped from topic to topic, with my male colleague taking opportunities to flirt with us both while we belly laughed. After 2 hours we sent the boy on his way and decided we needed some retail therapy. Retail therapy for me usually entails some sort of lingerie shopping.  Raw Grrl wanted a dress and a purse, so I made the executive femme girl shopping decision and led us to Anthropologie. She tried on an adorable blush rose and purple dress, but I think the sheer girliness of it freaked her out, so she opted out of it. I made her try on a tank that I thought would look super hot on her, and it did, but she also shook her head. She was just casually dating the clothes. I was ready to commit after finding an adorable panty set by Only Hearts. Because I couldn’t decide between the white and the blue, I opted for both. They are pictured above and while no longer available on-line… you can still find them in some stores, Check out the clearance section. Only Hearts, style Creme Brulee. Hmm, Type Geek can tap my torch burnt crust with his spoon any day. 

Speaking of, I got laid this week. Halle-fucking-lu-HAH!

 I grabbed a rental car and drove over after work. It was a comedy of errors getting there, the battery died as I parked in front of a hydrant with the hazards on and I needed to run in and grab my pooch for a 20 minute walk before disappearing across the river. After putting her back inside the condo and finding the car wouldn’t turn over, I spent 20 minutes pacing outside my front door while calling the rental place, roadside assistance, texting Type Geek, and cursing. After hearing it would be an hour PLUS before the roadside assistance could arrive, I ran down to the Chinese restaurant around the corner and asked if their delivery driver could give me a jump (no dice) before deciding to call the livery service down the road. I offered their driver $10 to come the 10 blocks and jump me. After hanging up from them I heard my pooch carrying on inside the condo and I assumed, wrongly, that she was upset at hearing the sound of my voice without being able to see me. I stepped inside to find that in fact, the excited barking I heard, was that of joy and fun as she hurled the full bag of potting soil all over my living room. YAY! I had just enough time to sweep up the majority of the dirt prior to the livery driver arriving to get me up and going. I kissed the pup on the head and within 15 minutes of calling for roadside assistance I was on my way, albeit $10 poorer.

I made it to Type Geek’s apartment in less than 15 minutes, with barely any traffic on the highway, I flew. Of course the door was NOT unlocked like it was supposed to be. I was luckily able to wake him and he scratched his head after realizing that yet again, the plan was foiled. Sigh. I kissed him and sent him back to bed before jumping in his shower to wash off the work day and potting soil. I also needed to warm up from the cold drizzle and shave, since I was hoping for some morning sex. Best shower ever. I love his shower and I love his bed. They are happy places for me.

So, I finally got there, I had a satisfying hot shower, curled into bed and had the best spooning ever, until my leg started bothering me and I had to pee. After crawling back under the covers and wrapping around him, I finally found my groove and was able to get to sleep, then his alarm started sounding 4 hours later (ahem, he forgot to reset it for a later time, since he was working from home and NOT driving to the office.) The morning sex was awesome. Really awesome.  Although, it surprised me, he didn’t stop for a condom this time. I’m not at risk this week for getting pregnant and he did pull out at the end, BUT, it isn’t his normal modus operandi. Once his work settles we seriously need a talk. If he wants to go condom free, which I would not be adverse to, we need to clarify our situation.

For any of you women who are sleeping with men at the moment, or have in the past, or any of you men, who have female partners, what is your personal condom/birth control set up? What do you do? How often after you were dating was it implemented? How did you discuss the implications and make the decision to go the path you have or had? Please share your own experiences. Until you do, pardon me, I have some Haagen Daaz to eat.

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I tip my hat to the women of the MadMen era… well dressed and perfectly medicated. I certainly need that help after the way my week has started. Its been raining in the East for days, cool and dreary. Exactly the type of weather that has you wishing for a lover’s bed with a warm body to curl up into until the storm passes. Unfortunately, my calendar had no entries for snuggling and so I set about doing my laundry on Monday morning.

I hate laundromats. With every ounce of my being, I find them to be a blight against my very soul. Nonetheless, they are a necessity. After dropping my laundry in the washers, I ran back to my condo and grabbed my pooch for a quick jaunt down the block and a pee.  She dislikes the rain so much that it isn’t worth taking her out longer than a few minutes at a time on days like this. This plan was quickly derailed however when a offleash male Rottie wandered over. I believe he was younger and truly just wanted to say hi, however, my dog has been jumped before and subsequently, she has some dog aggression issues. The situation quickly turned nasty with the Rottie attaching itself to my girl as I screamed for her to stop responding. They were fueling each others anger. Luckily I was able to get ahold of him as he began to latch onto her ribcage and separate them with my arm span. I never let him think that I wasn’t in charge and kept telling them firmly to sit as I held them apart and regained my wits. Eventually his ears relaxed and he turned and gave his ass to us both, a great sign of submission. I knew that I couldn’t keep standing there with my arms holding both, somehow I needed to get my dog and I back in my condo and animal control to pick up this boy. My girl was not going to relax enough for my to relax my grip on her so I made what could have been a very bad decision and let go of him. I kept sternly telling him to stay as my dog and I backed up the 30 feet to my condo door. Once I put my pup inside I turned and called the rottie to me. He wasn’t a vicious dog per se. He reacted, my girl reacted, it got out of hand. It could have been far worse. I called the police but they wouldn’t do anything so I let the dog go, hoping it wouldn’t get hit by a car or worse, in a fight with the pit bulls down the street that are walked off leash by their white trash owner. In the end, my girl ended up with a cut up paw and some abrasions. One minor puncture wound from where the rottie grabbed her side, but, no need for stitches or vet visits.

I texted Type Geek as I was cleaning up her paw. He suggested I come over tonight after work, regardless of the time. I think I may take him up on the offer. I need a bit of physical intimacy as I am feeling off kilter, off-balance. Connecting with another person physically can have a great grounding effect on the spirit, at least if it is someone you care about. I don’t love him, but I adore him. This whole work-life balance thing of his though, I gotta figure that one out. He leaves for a work meeting in Ohio on Wednesday and chances are good that I may not see him this weekend when he returns. Can I be satisfied with only seeing him 2 or 3 times a month right now?

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Some things hit your tongue and transport you magically to a moment, a memory so vivid that it is barely recognizable as a figment of your imagination. You just swear that you are living it and all knowledge of the future, was just speculation.

Strawberry Pop Rocks did NOT do this for me. I bought them the other night.  I had wandered into a costume shop and was looking around, feeling naughty after remembering a conversation Type Geek and I had prior to meeting in person… he asked if I was more likely to be naughty nurse or bad cop. I was looking to see if they had either option and they didn’t. Too soon before Halloween I guess. Anyway, still feeling naughty, I was walking out the door when I saw packets of Pop Rocks on the counter, near the register. I remembered hearing once that putting Pop Rocks in your mouth during a blow job was an interesting sensation for the man, so I figured I would grab a couple of packets and keep them in my arsenal for later.

There haven’t been any “laters” lately. Type Geek has been so busy with work that I have become a ghost. We have become ghosts to each other. I’m not quite sure where we stand or what we are doing. Between the stress of my own life and financial rollercoaster (thank you recession and housing market) the stress of his job and his brother’s illness, and the usual comings and goings of life, we haven’t been able to keep plans and see each other. It has been 2 weeks.  So, tonight, I tore open the strawberry flavored package and found the taste less than sweet. A repugnant taste of disappointing memories. I am beginning to wonder if I made a huge mistake by not giving him a proper chance earlier on. Perhaps I have learned that it is impossible to hold two concurrent love affairs without some sort of subsequent eventual stirring of emotional muck.  Perhaps we do not contain enough love to fairly provide, simultaneously,  more than one individual with what they really deserve, what we all deserve.

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Maybe I have unrealistic ideals… but is finding someone who misses you and yearns for you when you aren’t around, well, is that too much to ask the universe for?

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I’ve been mostly blind to the sugar baby phenomena, I knew it existed, but NOT in my world. However, now that I work in the hospitality business again, I see it nightly.  I understand the psychological appeal of being taken care of, I do. What I don’t understand is how gorgeous young slim women can suck the dick of a fat man as old as their dad…or older. I would not suck the dick of any one I was not attracted too for Ann Demeulemeester, Dries Von Noten,Maison Martin Margiela,  Stella McCartney or hell, even AllSaints  for that matter. $500 or $5000, the designer dress will not get me to kneel down for someone I find unattractive.

So, how do they do it? Forget about the why. How do they look at themselves everyday after another night of fucking grandpa fattie? At least Hugh Hefner isn’t fat. Old, yes. Fat, no.

Chime in. I am curious. They say that everyone has their price. Do you? Could you have a romantic relationship with someone MUCH older and considerably less attractive for reasons of financial security? If so, how much money are we talking?

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I have been silent for a bit, sorry about that. My new night job has been taking up a lot of my time and brain power. By the time I get home I barely have the energy for much more than some Facebook and Twitter perusal and bad internet porn. Is there such a thing as good internet porn? Here is a confession, I can rarely stand the women in porn, the faces they make, the oooh babies with that pursed overlined lip, the long painted nails that the camera zooms on as they rapidly stroke themselves. I need less medical exam meets urban vo-tech cosmetology course in my porn. So, Hentai is my go to on the rare occasions that I need a suggestion to get off. Not the crazy tentacle alien beast shit… I like the traditional role playing scenes of power/submission or some good voyeurism/exhibitionism. If the overdub is annoying, I mute it. It is enough of a suggestion to do what I need it to do. Seriously, have you watched some straight porn these days? It’s just wrong. Bad tans, bad implants… it is quite possibly just the extra footage that is shot on Jersey Shore that can’t make it on the regular show due to sensors. I turn it off for fear of seeing Snooki and being permanently blinded.

Without permanent ailments such as blindness, I haven’t been feeling stellar as I haven’t been eating well the last week or so and I’ve been running on reserves. I tend to eat better when I am cooking and lately I have only had time to cook when I am seeing Type Geek, if our dates have been canceled or postponed due to his schedule, then I end up putting off that evenings meal until far later than I should have and subsequently I eat something easy but far less nutritious. Rice Chex is NOT a great meal, no matter what the company may want to tell you.

The cancellations and postponement of the dates also have me feeling lame. I have been slow to test out that dating site I am supposed to be reviewing because I truly don’t have a ton of available time anymore, and the time I do have, I’d like to spend some of it with Type Geek, but needing to stay so flexible for him right now, and in the end, sometimes still not seeing him, is reaching a frustration of epic proportions. Please keep in mind that he just lost some junior people and a consultant, 4 people in one week, when he was already stretched too thin. Now, things are worse. He was heading one challenging client with multiple projects in the MidWest. Now, he is heading that AND another multi million dollar client on the East Coast. Deadlines are a noose around his neck and he needs to recruit, hire and train bodies to assist AND move into the companies new satellite office. The benefit of the office is that he will be working in town now, rather than driving nearly two hours to another state!  So, I am trying to be understanding, but it is hard. If I could know that I had one standing date every week to see him, then ok, but it is the ambiguity and flexibility required of me, without a guaranteed pay off, that is becoming difficult to muster.

I don’t have the energy to go out and start dating someone new right now, and quite frankly, I would like to give Type Geek a good solid chance at seeing what might be possible, but am I being blind to what is the reality? Is this why he is single? Is this the best it gets?

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