Posts Tagged ‘hipster’

My dance card is interesting these days. I have two great lovers and I’m just kinda doing my thing. I am still chatting up other people and getting to know people online, but as of yet, I haven’t been going on any new dates. It feels a little weird and I am not sure how a third could fit into my pleasant little world. 

I have had a slightly cute, but increasingly less interesting as the days went on, chat going on from one of the online sites, and I have been feeling overwhelmed as I over thought it all. First let me explain about the guy I was chatting with. He has that pseudo intellectual, as in non-skinny jean wearing, hipster musician/designer thing going. He wants to meet me, I have blown him off now twice, the more I thought about whether I could fit him into this mix of two boys, the more I was just feeling frazzled, PLUS, and I know this might seem weird and hypocritical coming from me,but,  he has had extensive experiences with men, and I find it slightly a turn off. He isn’t bisexual, he says. He is straight.  I guess maybe my turn off is a two-fold one. 1) gay male sex has never turned me on. Man on man action, hmm, pass. maybe because it is such an unknown, because I can’t wiggle into that equation. In lesbian sex, I have a place, in straight sex, I have found my place. As a woman though, I have no place in gay male sex. 2) I know he was a bottom and I like my men to top me a bit. Finding out he was bottom killed any mental hard on I was coming up with when I first saw his picture and profile. Sigh.  So, I keep canceling. He is now on vacation, so, if he contacts me when he gets back next week, we shall see how we are feeling.

How awful does this make me that I expect others not to judge my sexual past, but I appear to be judging his? Am I judging the past though? I really think it might be that I am afraid he would be incapable of being the type of dominate/aggressive male lover I like. Feedback people. What do you think?!

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Lobster Risotto
(for 2, with leftover risotto for risotto cakes)

2 Medium LIVE lobsters
1 pound of littleneck clams
4 cups arborio rice
1/4 cup fresh tarragon on stem, loosely packed.
chicken (3 cups) and lobster (3 cups) stock
1/4 cup marscapone cheese
1/2 cup sliced fresh leeks
1 head garlic
1 slice pancetta 1/4 inch thick
1 fresh lemon for zesting
sea salt (maldon is my favorite)
fresh pepper

1-2 Bottles of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, some for cooking, most for drinking. 🙂

1. Heat oven to 450 F. Slice top off of head of garlic to expose tips of all cloves. Place in center of square of aluminum foil. Drizzle olive oil, lightly salt and pepper. Fold up corners of foil and twist to seal in garlic. Place in lower rack and allow it to hang out there while you do everything else. The longer it roasts, the more caramelized it gets.

2. Place 2 medium-sized LIVE lobsters in large pot of cold water and bring to boil. Cook until shells turn bright red. remove lobsters from water and place in ice bath to stop cooking.

3. After lobsters are cooked, mix 3 cups Chicken broth with 3 cups reserved lobster water and half of the pancetta, chopped in large pieces, in large sauce pan. Bring to medium-low heat on back burner.

4. In a heavy bottom pan add leeks, a tbsp olive oil, a tbsp butter, salt and pepper to taste and allow to soften and lightly brown over medium low heat. Onions should become translucent. 8-10 minutes. Pull leaves off of tarragon, chop finely and put aside. With microplane or fine grater, remove the zest from one washed lemon and set aside.

5.  Add dry arborio rice to pan and stir with wooden spoon to coat with butter, oil and leeks. Cook for 3-5 minutes, stirring constantly and then add 1 cup of wine. Bring heat to medium. Continue to stir and allow for the wine to be absorbed.

6. Add one cup of broth mixture at a time, allow rice to fully absorb liquid each time. Stir frequently with wooden spoon. Salt and pepper as you go. Taste occasionally. The rice should be al dente… or firm when bitten into, not crunchy… but NOT mushy! (10-15 minutes, give or take) When it seems close to being done, stir in tarragon. (Fresh herbs should always be added towards the end. Dried in the beginning. )

7. As Rice is cooking, shell lobster. Remove as much meat as possible. Chop coarsely and set aside.

8. Remove clams from fridge. In separate pan place the clams, a tbsp olive oil, remaining chopped pancetta, couple splashes of wine (this is soooo scientific), salt and pepper, cook over medium heat until the clams open. Keep over low heat to warm.

9. When rice is firm, but cooked, remove from heat and fold in lemon zest, lobster meat, and 1/4 cup marscapone.Voila… Lobster Risotto!!!

10. Plate the risotto in center of plate with clams surrounding. Squeeze lemon over clams and serve.

11. Remove garlic from oven and serve with butter and fresh bread like french or chiabata.


So, there you have it, the promised recipe for Lobster Risotto. I do everything according to my own intuition and taste, so please feel free to play around with the measurements and make this recipe your own.

I had also promised an update on the men who are interested in me and what has been going on besides Brooklyn. Well, I told the Doppelganger that I am seeing someone, which was easier than fessing up about how I made out with his brother, the Peruvian, in December. The tittie slapping Turk? I also told him I was seeing someone. Easier than admitting that his make out style leaves a lot to be desired. The 25-year-old? That just fizzled. He’s so sweet and nice and young and I am just NOT there. We are friends and I suspect that we will remain as such. The assoc. prod/writer/musician guy? Well, we have become super buddies and actually talk about our crushes/dates with each other. He likes younger hipster gals and I like guys my own age who are taller than me. Someone who isn’t shorter than me when I wear heels. So, those are the guys who were kinda hanging around for the last couple of months.

New guys who are meandering into the picture: A world traveling, extreme frisbee playing, half asian hipster. A multi-racial vegan chef of sorts. A 34-year-old adrenaline junkie with the career to afford his insane hobbies.

In order of interest is the Frisbee Hipster, the adrenaline Junkie and lastly the Vegan Chef. The Vegan Chef is nice, says sweet things, BUT is not physically my type at all. Should I feel badly about this? Maybe I will go out on a lunch or coffee only date with him.

Yes, I admit that there is a lack of interest in dating anyone other than Brooklyn. I think that this is for many reasons. Firstly, I burnt out on the 4-5 dates a week with different men. The getting stood up, or stuck with the tab. Yes, I often pay for coffee or tea with Brooklyn but that is because I want to and do so without his asking. I know that with his divorce, the kids, moving, etc… that every dollar helps. So, I can pick up a couple drinks or tea now and then or even make him dinner rather than us eating out. What I didn’t like is when I would go out with someone and even after they knew that my business was struggling, they would suggest we have sushi for dinner and somehow I would get stuck with the tab. $100 sushi dinner that I hadn’t budgeted for vs. a $22 cocktail tab that I opted to pay for are huge differences. The Second reason for my general disinterest is the level of comfort I feel when I am with Brooklyn. It’s calm. It doesn’t require work. It feels genuine. Sigh. What to do, what to do. Lastly, the third reason is this email I received tonight from one of the men on a dating site I subscribe to: “My job is to make you HAPPY babe all the time.. cuz If I had the letters “HRT”, I can add “EA” to get a “HEART” or a “U” and get “HURT”. But I’d rather choose “U” and get “HURT” than have a “HEART” without “U”.”

That email is enough of a reason, right? So, this is my update. Enjoy the risotto and stay tuned for tomorrow’s dual posting with our syndicater… TheNewGay.Net

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Yeah, schmuck, I meant TODAY. When you agree to meet a woman for coffee at a certain time, you show up. In light of the lack of LOCAL natural disasters, bomb threats, massive city shut downs, emergency weather conditions, or paralysis, I can come to only one reason you wouldn’t appear. It seems, Schmucky Insomniac Artist with a late night cake baking obsession, is an ass. Seriously though, WHO does that? We are all in our 30’s-40’s here. (I mean, myself and the majority of the men I am going out with, not you the reader. But, please be over 16, some of the stuff I say is NOT suitable for minors.)

I arrived a few minutes late to my favorite coffee shop, but he knew that was a possibility due to my schedule. I even called the coffee shop and told my 3rd favorite (the 2nd was on the bar and the 1st wasn’t working) barista to let him know I would be a few minutes late, when he arrived. Only, he never arrives. No voicemail, no text message, no email… he never arrives. What makes this even more annoying is that we JUST made the plans yesterday! These weren’t plans mentioned long ago that were possibly forgotten, this was, “How does coffee in 16 hours sound?”!!! Men in this city are intimidated by sexually confident women and feel emasculated at the drop of a hat, rather than stepping up and grabbing the hat before it hits the ground and then OWNING that hat… running off with it proudly and boldly on their heads! So, Mr. Baker Man…. your runway skills sucked and you are outta the running to be America’s Next Lesbian Dating Experiment.

On a high note, I have a 2nd date with the Atheist Jewish Hipster Musician/Writer/Producer guy tomorrow. Just coffee in the late afternoon, but I am looking forward to it. He seems like a genuinely awesome guy who was dealt a shitty hand by his recent girlfriend. He’s no Jewish Internet Webcam Sex Master BUT he is only 3 miles away, not 200. Can’t beat convenience.

And speaking of beating, I was woken up at 3 am this morning by a horny text from said Jewish Internet Webcam Sex Master who had just arrived home, found my email containing some photos of myself and promptly contacted me complaining of the current state of his cock. He requested my presence for an abbreviated performance via Skype and then we said our good nights. What I really enjoy about our video play is how quickly and seamlessly he transitions from incredibly turned on grunting beast to his dorky post orgasmic coy smirky smiles and soft eyes. It’s excellent.

So, that brings us current. Oh, except I just started my period a few hours ago and between the life affirming cramps and a massive toothache, I want to step in front of a city bus. Reminder to self: Don’t speak much on date tomorrow unless willing to say some crazy hormonally charged nonsense that sounds like speaking in tongues but equates to buzz kill for all men.

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Two Dark and Stormies in fact. He had Dewar’s on the rocks. Tonight was one of those nights when I had planned to do NOTHING but housework, however,  he caught me in a moment of weakness. He texted asking if I was up for doing something tonight-ish rather than tommorrow-ish, as we had originally planned. Hmm, need shower, walk dog, cold as ass outside…. sure, why not?

We met at a coffee-house at 8. We sat, drank hot caffeinated beverages and chatted. YAWN. It was nice but we needed some alcohol in us. It was clear that we needed some assistance with the barriers. He seemed distracted, yet interested, stand offish, yet attracted. I was unable to read him, so I suggested a cocktail and he seemed all good with that. Still wasn’t sure where he fell on the interest scale, but I thought a couple of drinks would be more telling.  We walked a few blocks to the bar, a small hotel bar known for having good cocktails, specifically one of my favorites, the Dark and Stormy.

The crowd was a weird mix of suburbanites and convention attendees. By the time we had arrived at 9:45, people were already on their way to intoxicated and being rude and pushy. Were it not so cold out, I would have shifted us elsewhere. The heavens looked down upon us shortly though when I noticed two girls get up from a couch and leave. Sitting in the corner of a bar on a small leather couch with an attractive attentive woman is bound to illicit some response from a man if there are cocktails involved, right?

So, we talked about his RECENT ex girlfriend who broke up with him, ending a 4 year relationship over the PHONE while he was getting back from a business trip. My quirky gay thing, which raised a surprised eyebrow from him, but didn’t turn him off. His job in production and how religion plays into his family dynamic. His parents are strict Orthodox Jews from Latin America. He isn’t latin, other than by birth, in fact he looks very Eastern European. If you are familiar, he is Ashkenazi, which is a particularly German looking Jew. I know, I know… there is a Jewish trend in my life. What can I say, he was cute and then happened to be Jewish. His parent’s won’t welcome any girlfriend of his into their home who isn’t Jewish and he doesn’t tend to date Jewish women. Needless to say, this creates problems.

He also is a musician,of course, and a writer, of course, AND has multiple cats…. OF COURSE. Slightly Brooklynesque Hipster looking, not skinny jeans BUT not the traditional baggy legged jean either. It’s clear that his own individual style is AS important to him as an article or accessories function. Eventually we noticed that my train home was going to cease running if we didn’t leave in the next few so we paid our tab and wandered out into the single digit air.

At the corner we realized we were going opposite directions and said our ciaos. We hugged each other goodnight and as we were pulling away, whether it was mutual or my initiation, we had some nice kisses on the street corner. I would say he fared well above average. Definitely worth a second try.

In the train station, a nicely dressed 30 something black man approach me and asked me whether I had just been at a particular bar. I nodded and he went on to tell me, in a very polite and slighty shy manner, that he was working late and had stopped in with a friend, only to leave because the crowd seemed so overrun by, my word, douche bags and that he saw me leave. He said he was struck by how I didn’t look like I belonged there among the crowd, how I seemed intelligent, real, sincere and mischievous and found himself unable to shake my image from his mind after I had left. He isn’t at all what i would have ever approached but he was attractive and quite ballsy to come up to me like that. So, I gave him my email. He deserves it after an approach like that.

Now, after two pieces of toast with honey and peanut butter, I am ready for sleep.

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This is a message out there to all men and women. You are NOT as you think you are! Some of you are far better than you can even imagine and others, well, you need a mirror and some honesty. When searching for “about average” on any of the internet dating sites, I find bodies that run the gamut, everything from the volleyball players physique (note, if you are a member of a sports team and can bounce and only the obvious bit jiggle, then you are athletic and toned) to the nearly obese man on his right.

Let’s spell this out for everyone: 

Slender= not sporting much muscle definition, not “athletic”. You probably can and do wear skinny jeans. Maybe consider eating more legumes or nuts or a burger if you can and do wear your little sisters jeans. Just sayin’.

Athletic/Toned=I can bounce a quarter and/or myself off your abs or ass or both. This doesn’t mean no neck muscle guy on roids. This is you hike, you bike, you can throw me down and not break a sweat doing it.

Average= you are normal, softish, no real overhang but maybe a bit cooshie. This is fine, this means I might occasionally be able to pin you down or at least feel like I have a chance.

A Few Extra Pounds= just like it says! Do you honestly need to lose a couple? Has beer & pizza begun to win a fight with your belly?

Stocky= you are a thick boy, think lumberjack maybe.

Overweight/Heavy Set= if you could be mistaken for pregnant or santa, then you are NOT average.

I understand that men have egos just as fragile as women, but when hotties refer to themselves as “average”  on the same page as a fattie who can’t see his feet, what is this world coming to?

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