Posts Tagged ‘jesus’

Things have been quiet and so serious here lately, haven’t they? The dating has fallen by the wayside the last few weeks. I own a business and I have been very preoccupied with buying inventory for an upcoming event. It’s one of those yearly events that just always catches me by surprise. Suddenly its three weeks away and I am freaking out, calling vendors and apologizing and kissing the ass of my UPS guy to ensure I get all my packages in time for the event. Then its two weeks away and I’m realizing I don’t have a banner and some of the things I used in past years for display, just won’t cut it if I want a seemless professional presentation. One week away and the day I schedule to ransack the retail shops is Easter. My barista friend has a huge car and a huge heart and is willing to spend his day off driving me all over this godforsaken state. I called ahead, I really did. Of the planned shops to visit, two were open. One had two items I could grab and the other was out of the bookshelves I needed. Shit Shit Shit. So, I spent 7 hours and 6 towns to go to 2 stores and get only some of the things I needed. The other stores, they closed early because it was slow. No shit, that’s why I was shopping that day, because it was going to be quiet! Sigh. Why does ONE religion and the celebration of it’s holidays create such a ripple effect across state and federal levels? We don’t close down stores for Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist, or Pagan holidays, then WHY do we shut down shop for Jesus? I question in a bad economy, whether having stores open later on Easter Sunday is wise. I personally watched 15 cars pull in and out of Home Depot as we had, after realizing they were closed, without a sign stating that they were shutting up early for the holiday. Some people do church and some people do brunch on Easter Sunday and after that, they try to escape the family clenches and run their errands before the start of the week, only to be shot down by a locked door. Sigh. This may offend, and I do not intend for it to offend any of my faith-based readers, however, IF someone is dead and raises from the dead… isn’t that stuff out of George Romero films? Isn’t that Shaun of the Dead action there? Wouldn’t that have made Jesus a zombie? Zombies are cool, but hey, a consumerist holiday surrounding the consumption of large amounts of genetically modified high fructose corn syrup and artificial dye filled snacks, all hiding under the guise of a zombie? I’m not buying it. (For full disclosure, I believe Jesus was a prophet, as were so many others. Do I believe that the spiritual world begins and ends with him, no, I most certainly do not. I do respect those who put their faith there however. Find your happiness and your spiritual contentment wherever you may, as long as it provides peace, acceptance, understanding and love to ALL)

Now,  because of all of this chaos with getting ready for my event, I just haven’t had time to go out on any dates. I had two gentlemen on the back-burner for the weekend, IF I had time, but I just didn’t. I have a home waxing kit for the legs, just no time. I haven’t had time to tweeze my eyebrows even. I did however give up sugar AND I told french fries that I needed a break in our long-standing relationship. My winter diet subsided on a lot of stress, sugar, french fries and some moderate , and at times, not so moderate, amounts of alcohol. Time for some healthier decision-making on what goes into the body. The reality of any thing tiny and strappy right now, I shudder to think. Shudder to Think is an amazing band by the way. They did the soundtrack for High Art. Quite awesome.

When I am stressed and trying to work through an event or project, I get overwhelmed mentally and tangenty, as can be seen above. Maybe some hotties will come into my booth this weekend. Maybe someone wickedly adorable will flirt me up and ask for my number, how AWFUL would that be? 😉

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Apparently I look like I need to eat more. I think I look great. A fleshy size 6. I’m not too skinny BUT for some reason, instead of kisses and squeezes, I get rosemary and bags of vegetables. The Urban Indie Farmer…. it was a great time, I thought. I got to coffee almost a half hour late because the laundromat decided to be my mortal enemy but after that we went to this crazy religious shrine that included an outdoor nativity in which these bizarre Victorian choralers meet absurdly disproportionate amputee herald angels and freakishly small wise men. Things became even more interesting when, inside the church, there was what can only be described as a giant diorama depicting Christ’s birth. It had animatronic villagers and animals and even a technologically advanced lighting set up to simulate the hours of the day including sunrise and sunset.  We then snuck into the chapel across the street with the request that we be able to make a prayer. The giant crucifix was carved from wood in a very late 50’s stylized manner and it was hung in front of a mural so expertly done that I wish I were able to determine the artist  so that I could find out if he or she had other works besides church murals. It was a Roman Catholic chapel, so it is doubtful that it was a woman artist back in the 50’s, but perhaps. 

After going to hell for our lack of faith and sarcastic review of their pamphlet on Getting Back to Mass, we headed outside where he lit a candle to save our souls, like all good Sicilian boys should do when faced with a Catholic church. Then we wandered off in search of food. We stopped and looked at a menu for a place and after seeing it was Peruvian, I just couldn’t go in. All I could think of was Mr Hottie Gavin Depp (yet to be determined if he is a McDouche or if I am an emailer with a misconstrued message.) We ended up at a so-so martini bar with his wine and my manly drink, aka a Dark and Stormy.  (Let it be known, Wednesday’s D&S…sooo much better!) and chatted for a few hours.

When he drove me home, we took my dog for a half hour walk and had some more pleasant conversation. Overall, the date lasted 5 and a half hours , the conversation flowed easily, we have a ton of commonality, yet, why at the end, instead of an extended hug, a kiss on the cheek or even, hell, a real kiss, do I get a biodegradable bag filled with produce? I don’t want produce. I want to be pushed against a wall and made to feel wanted… not handed root crops!

I sent GD an email, explaining where I thought my original email went wrong and how it probably sent the wrong message. When pressed, truth is, so far he is the only one that makes me feel that woo hoo excited thing that one is supposed to get from a date.  Hopefully my explanation gets me a reconsideration. I also threatened to open up a big ole can of woo on his ass if he doesn’t reconsider by Monday. I have no patience for this misunderstanding shit. Lets clear the air so we can get on with it and eventually, in the great words of Marvin Gaye, Let’s Get it On!

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