Archive for April, 2010

So, I had a date with Type Geek last night… I will commit to sitting down and giving a full update later. I am posting this mini post so that I can set myself up for success on this cleanse I am doing. If I tell YOU about it, then you can yell at me if I seem to waver. I am doing the “Master Cleanse”. I have done it before, it’s great, NOT dangerous if done right, don’t worry, blah blah blah. It’s the Grade B Maple Syrup, Organic Lemon Juice, Cayenne Pepper and Purified Water thing. Day 1 of what I hope will be a minimum of 12 days. I am aiming to end on the 12th and phase back into real food over the next remaining days. The goal being, real healthy food being chewed once again by moi in regular meal form by May 15th. Wish me luck. Even if I make it ten days, I will be stoked.

So, the countdown begins…

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I haven’t updated my blog over the last several days because the allergies have kicked me in the face. Seriously, Claritin is NOT my best friend… what is this only one a day. What if I take 2? What will happen? Sigh. Cough. Sniffle. Aaaaccchoo. Grumble. Here is information then on the last 3 of my 5 dates from last week.

The date I was looking most forward to last week, Frenchie on Friday, didn’t happen due to some issues with his dissertation he is working on. I understood BUT I didn’t necessarily want to. I wanted to kick the dirt like a bummed out little kid. Two SHITTY dates in a row last week and all I was really looking forward to was some smoochies. Sigh. There is always Meh and Eh, right? I still have the Saturday and Sunday dates.


So, Type Geek couldn’t get his new car registered on Friday and had to do it on Saturday, which meant our hanging out on Saturday was nixed BUT we decided that we would hang on Sunday and go for a long drive to break in the new car. That meant moving the Sunday coffee date with the Modernist Architect to Saturday, if he was around. The architect said that he had some errands but that he would be around by 5ish, so I should text him and we could plan something. I texted him at 1:30… no texts from him, but then a phone call from him at 7. At that point I was done. I had been out with my dog since 11:30 and after having brunch with my friend, the former date option known as Musician/Writer/Assoc Prod guy, and laying in the grass in the sun with him and a friend of his, AND wandering miles window shopping, yes, dog still in tow, I was really exhausted. I had dinner at PF Changs with my barista friend and swore at the manager who allowed the dog on the patio, then moved us because of health code violations, and generally, was just annoying in a very argh kind of pedantic way. Needless to say, I opted out of my coffee meet and greet with the architect at that point and headed home for cuddles in bed with the pooch.

Now, midday Saturday I received a picture text from Type Geek, the new car had a blow out and so the long drive might be out for Sunday. Ok. Fair enough. I do offer to pick him up at his house on Sunday though, incase he is interested in a mini trek out to the all mighty IKEA.  I had some returns I needed to make, so I thought it might be a good replacement plan. Turns out that his tire wasn’t in stock at the dealer and so he spent 3 days at his parents house waiting for the car to be fixed. His parents live several hours away and he thought he could get a better car price from the dealer near them, hence how he ended up at his folks place. Alas, my day was spent at Home Depot, Ikea and Whole Foods and without a date. My dog came along though.

Where does this leave me for the coming week. Hmmpf. Well, I have  a reschedule with Type Geek for a Thursday night rock show at a local venue. That’s it so far. There is a cute documentary filmmaker who just sent me an email through the dating site though, so, who knows?  I’m also wondering if I am going to hear from Brooklyn. Yes, him. I still talk to him, just don’t mention him in here.  I laid some stuff on the table for him last Friday when we chatted. Curious what he chooses to do with that info. Curious what the future brings.

Tuesday posts are web syndicated by www.thenewgay.net

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Date Night 1:

I met Heavy Metal Choo Choo outside the train station and we walked past all the places I was thinking we might go. He wanted cocktails and a patio. Sounded good to me. However, next thing I know we are in a dark sports bar, with 20 screens surrounding us while he drinks a black/tan and eats a fried chicken sandwich with extra mayo and fried potatoes. At this point he confesses a love for Big Macs and KFC while staring at the hockey playoff game on one screen and the baseball game on another. Please god, shoot me now. What part of me looks like a sports bar gal? My profile also says I am a foodie, with a food allergy… so, wtf man? How to make a great first impression: try taking your townie ass out of sneakers and a sports bar on a first date. IF you must watch a certain game, do NOT schedule a date that night.

So, the games end within a few minutes of each other and rather than relaxing from his agro cheering mode and actually acting like a date, he looks at my cup of decaf, asks if I am done and says he needs to head home because it is getting late and he has to get up at 5. HA HA HA. Yes, the only difference between a regular evening for him and this first date was that he was at a bar and I happened to be sitting across from him.

The next morning he sent me a text letting me know that he had a “lovely time” and was wondering if I would like to do it again sometime. Are you fucking kidding me? THAT was a “lovely time”? Pass.

Date Night 2: Uber Douche Bag

Yes, I was late. I took a nap, it threw me off. Then the dog refused to pee, which slowed me down AND I missed the bus I needed. I communicated the whole time via text message and said I felt horrible. He said it wasn’t a big deal, he was catching up on emails and to take my time. I finally get there and he seems attractive and nice. Then….

So, 10 minutes in he tells me that his unbalanced, slightly crazy friend, might swing by. Apparently he is in town from Europe and they have been trying to meet up and it might be the only night he can say hi. Okay, a friend is showing up on our first date. Hmm. I’ll cut him slack for it because it’s a friend from Europe that is only in town for a few more days. The friend arrives about 20 minutes later. Our food had arrived and we were drinking some wine, the friend seemed less crazy than he was presented as being. Quirky, yes. A certifiable crazy freak, no. Ten minutes into the friends arrival and they start talking about another friend of theirs, whom they then decide to invite out. Hmm, ok, so apparently I am now hanging with the boys. Oh, and I thought this man worked in finance but apparently he is a professor of biology at a local university. Now, BioProf has overstepped the lines of acceptable by making me a tag along on his night out with the boys. Suddenly he decides he wants to stand, after spending too much time smoking a cigarette outside. He abruptly decides to move us to the bar area and orders us new drinks. He’s already over there while his friend and I are grabbing our coats from the booth cushions. Hmm, hey BioProf douche bag, how about waiting for us before you pounce on the pussy you met outside. That was exactly what it was too. We looked over and saw him standing next to this woman and his friend made a comment to the effect of BioProf’s not so subtle hard on for the girl he met. Coincidentally, I had met the girl in the bathroom 15 minutes before and we had already bonded, which was an amusing surprise to him, when he tried to introduce us at the bar. The girl and I wandered off for some chatty gossip and then guess who happened by? the TURK. HA HA HA. He happened to walk by and then proceeded to chat us girls up, meanwhile BioProf caught a glimpse of him and walked over with a chip on his shoulder. He suddenly walks over and when I introduced them, BioProf starts calling him Mohammed and being quite offensive to him. In an attempt to make the Turk look like an insignificant tool, as he called him later, he just made himself look like a fear based aggressive dog who acts out towards things he sees as a threat, rather than being secure in his own energy and space. That is why he kept insulting his friends and dismissing them. he wanted them there so that he could make fun of them. That’s exhausting juvenile behavior for a 35-year-old ph’d professor.

When the Turk and the bar hottie walked away for a bit, he asked me if I was talking him up to her. I’m like, so, I am your wing man or your date? He said he doesn’t usually admit it on a date but that he was digging her. Really, no shit. Ha. He digs tight jeans and tank tops with tits. I’m not that girl. I also never was that girl in my dating side profile.

He isn’t getting the reaction he wants at the bar and doesn’t like that the Turk keeps coming over and saying hello and hugging me, even though he himself isn’t interested, apparently I am still off-limits for other men to speak to me, because he is buying my drinks. In the middle of our drinks he decides we are going to a different bar and walks out of the bar. We end up across the street at a different bar filled with a lot of young women looking for older men with money. He’s eyeing the crowd for hot women. YAWN. Boring. We grab a drink and then get yanked down to the lower level bar. He then runs into a guy he works with who is there with a girl and suddenly we sit down. I decide to leave as soon as he comes back from the latest cigarette because the train is coming soon and luckily I am right across the street from it at the moment. He is not worth spending the money on a cab   to get home. The night was amusing, otherwise I would not have tagged along, but really, you must be kidding me. If you can’t make it through a date without scoping out a potential lay from someone else, don’t go on the date.

I said goodnight to everyone and planted a kiss on douche bag, just to see. Being as selfish and insecure and rude as he had been being, I had a feeling his kiss would suck. It did. I did, however, succeed in making him stop in his tracks and do a double take. I may not have large tits and wear tight jeans to get boys attention, but I kiss like a fucking rock star. So, there was a little taste of what you could have had, if you had played a better game, shit head.

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Heavy Metal Choo Choo and I are meeting in an hour, tomorrow I am going out with this business finance guy who just got back from a month in Costa Rica, then there is a second date with Frenchie (ooh, laa laaaaa) on Friday, a second with Type Geek on Saturday and on Sunday, coffee with a Modernist Obsessed Architect. Exhale.

Quite the week I have planned. 5 consecutive nights, 5 dates with 5 different men! OY! As for what happened with Internet Sex guy… nada. Sigh. He got caught up in a call and I was tired so I went to bed. Is this the first sign of getting old?

I’ll give a full update tonight (or tomorrow if I am toooo sleepy) of Date Night #1. Off to fetch the laundry, and make myself pretty(aka, semi gussied up) in under 30 minutes. Aack.

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A friend of mine ran the Boston Marathon on Monday. Because I couldn’t make it to the festivities, I was logged into a text alert system the Marathon had set up. He came in at 3:16:38 ! Good for him. So, while he spent the morning running his ass for sheer craziness, I spent it moving shit around my condo. At this moment, 5 hours since I started, it is worse than when I began. Hmm. Can’t quite figure that one out. I will chalk it up to being a Pisces with horrible organizational skills.

I did take a few breaks during the afternoon however. The dog and I shared some of my favorite raw trail mix… goji berries, mulberries, pistachios and cacao nibs. She likes the goji and mulberries. We listened to a Pandora station of Mogwai which is a band that came highly recommended by Frenchie. Then, I spoke to Type Geek around 3, we considered getting coffee but we were both far too involved in stuff today and taking a break for coffee wasn’t worth the break in our own personal chore fulfilling momentum. We rain checked for tomorrow. Frenchie and I emailed and briefly talked about trying to catch up with each other later in the week and someone whom I know very little about. He works on trains and likes metal. Hmmm. So a Heavy Metal Thomas the Train? Heavy Metal Choo-Choo is his new name. Ha! He and I don’t have much in common according to our profiles but he seems nice, so a coffee can’t hurt, right?

I talk a lot about getting coffee or tea on first dates. I have only gone to a movie once on a date and that was Brooklyn, on my birthday. I don’t do the dinner thing much either, sometimes it happens as a natural progression of the evening but I like to have the flexible outs if I need them. Not to mention, it’s a cheap and non-committal way to know if you can sit and talk with the other person for even a half hour, before being committed to waiting for an entrée to come out of a busy kitchen. What do other people do on first dates?

So, it’s been a lazy day, OH, but not without zero excitement… I received quite the thrilling photo via text message from my Internet Sex Pal in NYC. Sigh. He wants to Skype later… and after a text message like the one I received, unless a date suddenly presents itself, how could I possibly say no? Tune in tomorrow for all the juicy news on my Skype date. In the meantime, since I am leaving on an UP note, check out my new favorite, and totally inappropriate, website… www.awkwardboners.com The photo for today’s post comes from their site. It’s worth a look for some hearty laughs.

Off to the post office, a snack, some iced coffee (perhaps) and then back home for some more rearranging, cleaning, showering and primping before I get my private personal Skype show later. I hope everyone has a fun night planned.

Tuesday post are web-syndicated by www.thenewgay.net

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So, I didn’t drink the beer, but I kissed the Quebecer. He looks like a more intellectual, better traveled, far more sardonic and jaded Josh Lucas. I never thought much about Josh Lucas, or facial hair, until it was sitting before me speaking french. Parisian French don’t do a lot for me, but after years of working with some French Canadian Circus folks and having a thick ancestry in Quebec, I have a soft spot for cute Québécois!

I had a meeting with my personal advisor around 3 but due to some conflicts with her earlier clients, it was pushed til 3:30. Frenchie and I met in front of a local coffee shop because my throat was feeling a bit scratchy and I was dying for some hot tea and honey. The cafe was busy though, a line nearly out the door, so we decided to walk 20 minutes to another cafe in a nearby neighborhood. We sat and chatted for a bit. He was cute. Cuter in person than on-line. That academia meets no longer hipster but still hipper than most thing. A more New York version of Josh Lucas, except with the ability to speak hot french. Holy hot french by the way. Damn, I could listen to that all night long. After drinking tea for about a half hour we decided to go have some cocktails. A few in, some talk of hockey and futbol, a revelation that I had slept with his favorite wine seller, whom he didn’t think was gay, and I realized that I really wanted to kiss him. I couldn’t quite read him yet though. He admitted to trying boys once, to make sure, a brave thing to admit to me, but he assumed, rightly so, that I wouldn’t judge. In fact, I found it quite sexy that he could be secure enough to explore himself and his sexuality so fully. Not many men are capable of that. A couple of drinks in each and we were a little tipsy. We decided to head over for some Syrian/middle eastern food.

Less than a block from the bar, I pulled on his arm and drew him closer because I just needed to know. Good kisses. Definitely. We made it to the restaurant, ordered a couple of drinks at the bar while we waited for our table and chatted some more. I allowed him to order for me at the table and we talked more than flirted, although the flirt was there. Eventually he told me how attractive he considered me, a compliment always, nice to hear when it comes genuinely in a moment that isn’t expected. His hand touched my knee a few times, and the smiles came easily. While slightly jaded and cynical, he also carries a genuine openness that many don’t possess. He is far more attractive in person than he appears on-line. I don’t think photos are able to do him justice, as part of his appeal is his personality and physical energy, which is difficult to capture in a photo.

We finished our meal of assorted appetizers; baked eggplants, lamb, fava beans and stuffed grape leaves. We commented on the patrons, the staff, the server, and the music. Occasionally we caught glances at each other that lasted a little longer than necessary or accompanied a smirk that wasn’t necessary. The flirt was definitely on.

It was getting late and both of our dogs needed walking, plus, it’s always good to leave wanting more. As we left, we walked past the train station and I decided to get on, he was surprised, but I thought that it was better to leave while we were ahead. I also had a mildly scratchy throat and in the case that I was coming down with something, anything more than street kisses, might pass on a cold to this poor guy, if that is what I am coming down with. We kissed for a few minutes next to the station entrance and I was pleased that it was even better than the first time I kissed him. We looked at each other for a moment and sighed. One last quick kiss and I ran down the stairs. I was tempted to text him, to run back up and kiss him again, but I refrained. It’s nice to want sometimes.

I sat on the train and smirked on my ride home. When I reached my station, I received a text from him. He thanked me for a great date and voiced his wishes that I had been able to stay and make out with him for a little longer. I responded that sometimes it’s nice to leave wanting more. He wants me to come to his place and make him dinner. I suspect I shall, sooner than later. I also suspect that I will have some extended hot make out sessions with french spoken in my ear as I feed him one of the best home cooked meals he has had in a while, although, his mom is from Montreal and makes an amazing coq co vin. I may have a challenge on my hands, how can I out cook his mom?

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Yes, my dear dedicated readers… I went on a date last night. With someone new. With someone different. I know, shudder to think, huh?!

Anyway, we met up around 4, I had an appointment in the area that ended at 3:30 and so we decided to meet in the grassy park area in front of a local coffeehouse. 3:45 turned into 4 and a text message apologizing that a client phoned him soon followed. The dog and I sat drinking our iced green tea, reading a Bark Magazine and time turned into 4:30. Oy, with the waiting. He finally appeared a few minutes later. We decided to get him an iced green tea as well and then take a walk to the river with my pooch. The dog was on full tilt. I often joke that my dog has an illegal meth production lab in my bathroom that she runs when I am gone for the day. She’s a crazy tweaker, but I love her madly. Maybe it’s something less insidious… like a love for espresso, that enables her to maintain this insane energy. He decided to hold her leash, ummm, ha ha ha. She behaves for me on leash, not so much for the boys. To her, boys are meant for playing tug of war. I chuckled watching him try to control her.

So, who is this guy? He’s a professional design geek with a love of typography and sinister imagery. He used to be a rock musician, hence the creepy leanings, but since I have a taxidermied deer leg lamp and Bison skull, who am I to judge? So, we will call him Type Geek. He’s nice. Shorter than what I tend to, and over time I have realized I love having hair to play with, which he doesn’t have either. Grr, with the shaving off of the hair. Oh well.

We sat on the side of the river for a while then decided to go get some adult cocktails. It was nice out, so we decided to sit outside. Slowly the sun started to fade and the night grew cooler. Having the dog meant being unable to move inside so we suffered the cool down with a couple cocktails, some steamed mussels and shiitake mushrooms baked with goat cheese. The dog had a side of anchovies, a few mussels and a crostini, while making friends all over the patio. Conversation flowed easily but it felt more friendly than anything. He gets approached by 50-year-old cougars and I was his first ever internet date. I seem to be a lot of people’s first ever internet dates. Sigh.

I have a couple tentative dates set up with two other guys but rain is predicted. I would rather stay home and organize my house, do laundry and get some things taken care of with work. Does this make me pathetic? I know, I am just not feeling the enthusiasm. It’s hard to get excited for vanilla ice cream when you want creme brulee. Hard to have creme brulee when it’s out of stock.

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