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Posts Tagged ‘The Clash’

Brooklyn and I have been having some strangeness since we almost had sex. He has grown distant, become quieter, looked me in the eyes less. Things are off. Things are wrong. We met for a little under 2 hours last Thursday. The weather was beautiful so I drove up to his town to take my dog to the beach and meet him for a little down time. The friend vibe was palpable. It was strange. It wasn’t him.

We spent some time chatting on-line later that night, again, quieter, less verbose and interested. I tried kicking up the naughty flirt, to see how he would react, and he didn’t. Finally he commented that I “need to get laid”. Ouch. that didn’t feel like the previous we should get naked together comments he would pepper our occasional chats with. That felt like,”you should go fuck someone, not me, but someone.”  I was surprised that he would say something like that and even more surprised that it stung like it did.

I spoke with my pal Assoc. Prod/Musician about the situation and asked his advice. Should I write Brooklyn an email calling him out on the cold shoulder action and the sting of his “light-hearted” comment? AP/M and I agreed that I should step back from Brooklyn for a bit and that an email was justified. So, I wrote it up, had AP/M proof read for craziness and after getting the thumbs up, I held my breath and hit send.

The next morning I had an email from Brooklyn, apologizing for hurting my feelings with the comment, telling me that he has been scheduling me in when he doesn’t have time and that I have become inconvenient AND that ever since we almost had sex, which reaffirmed his feelings that he wasn’t ready to be that physical with anyone, he has been uncomfortable around me. Jesus Christ people!  He thinks I want more than him. Grrr Grrr Grrr, Argh Argh Argh

I have told him since the beginning that I never wanted him to turn me into a chore, a to-do list item that he needed to schedule around, a responsibility or a drama. That I was here as I am, to enjoy time together, when we have it. I originally said, “no sex til you are out of that house.” We agreed. He put MY hand DOWN his pants and on HIS cock in the family van the night of my b-day. I was following HIS lead. Who am I to say whether he is ready to be physical? This is his call. He seemed to be making the call by suggesting overnights, or getting naked together, or trips away. Are you kidding me?!

So,, now I have scared 34-year-old boy, back pedaling and hiding his head in the sand and looking for excuses. His email was line after line of excuses.  I responded in line that before he assume how much I am asking of him, how much I need or require, that he ASK me. I put the ball in his court. He needs to decide what the hell he feels for me. I am fine with a casual affair minus the sex. I care deeply for him but I can handle that. I am NOT fine with , ” but we will always be friends”, IF that is what he comes back with. Not now, maybe later, but I can not just suddenly turn a switch on how I feel about him and it would be completely unfair of him, after pursuing me, romancing me, telling me how wonderful and unique and stellar I am, to expect me to ignore the last month and act like we don’t have the connection that we both know we do.

Ok people, seriously, chime in here, cause I am uber annoyed. I told him I needed some space, atleast til Monday but I feel I am going to take more. I hate games, but he needs to remember why he likes me, he needs to feel my absence a bit. So, he can sweat this out a bit. I am not a fucking yo yo. So, what do you all think?  Is there a possibility that his head will come out of his ass? Should I do like the Clash? Should I stay (casually and realistically that this will be a SLOW drawn out process of self discovery for him) or should I go ?

Tuesday posts are web syndicated by www.thenewgay,net

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Anatomy of a Decade

We met for drinks and rosemary french fries. Conversation was nice, he is adorable, yet every time I looked at him, I thought of this:

1975– Weather Underground bombs State Dept in DC, Wheel of Fortune debuts, Watergate, Rocky Horror Picture Show opens on Broadway, Vietnam War, Bill Gates founds Microsoft, Saturday Night Live debuts, several countries declare independence from Portugal, Drew Barrymore and I are born. World population is 4,068,109,000

1976-US vetoes UN resolution calling for an independent Palestinian state, Apple Computer Company is formed, Tiananman riots, The Ramones release first album, Jimmy Carter wins presidency, Legionnaires disease first surfaces, U2 forms in Dublin highschool, Bob Marley is asassinated, Saul Bellow wins Nobel prize in literature and Audrey Tautou is born.

1977– Commodore computer is released, snow falls for the only time in history in Miami, Star Wars opens in cinemas, The Clash are formed, Apple ll computers released, The NYC blackout and Summer of Sam serial killings, Elvis Presley and Groucho Marx die, Orlando Bloom and Chris Martin of ColdPlay born.

1978-Garfield makes it’s debut, Ted Bundy captured, Larry Flynt shot and paralyzed, first Unabomber attack, first test tube baby is born, Jimmy Carter signs bill into law allowing home brewing of beer and he authorizes the minting of Susan B Anthony dollar, Jim Jones instigates Jonestown cult murder-suicides, Harvey Milk and George Moscone are assasinated, girl “hates Mondays” and open fires on San Diego school, Ashton Kutcher and Nikolai Fraiture of the Strokes are born.

1979-Star Trek: The Motion Picture premieres, Iran Hostage Crisis, 2 families flee East Germany by balloon, ESPN debuts, Michael Jackson releases Off The Wall, Ixtoc 1 oil spill releases upwards of 400+ million gallons of oil into S.Gulf of Mexico, Margaret Thatcher becomes Prime Minister, Three Mile Island nuclear plant disaster, compact discs are created, and Evangeline Lilly of television series Lost is born.

1980– Congress enacts CERCLA a.k.a. Superfunds, John Lennon is assasinated,Ethernet DIX standard is created, Jimmy Carter defeats Ed Kennedy for DNC nomination, RNC drops support of Equal Rights Amendment, CNN is launched, Ian Curtis of Joy Division dies, Pac Man is released, and Elin Nordegren (Woods) is born.

1981– Ronald Reagan becomes president, Walter Cronkite gives last CBS Evening News broadcast, CDC reports first cases of AIDS, Major League Baseball strikes, Sandra Day O’Connor becomes first female Supreme Court Judge, Adam Walsh is kidnapped and murdered, Lady Diana and Prince Charles marry, IBM computer  is released for $1,565 and has a with a 4.77 MHz Intel 8088 processor, Iran Contra Scandal, MTV is launched, and Brandon Flowers of the Killers is born.

1982-Canada gains full political independence from Great Britain, The Weather Channel debuts, Cal Ripken Jr. begins his streak, Equal Rights Amendment falls short on votes and Christian Right take credit, Pan Am flight 759 crashes, Lawn Chair Larry takes flight, First emoticons are released, International Day of Peace is formed, Michael Jackson releases Thriller, the United States goes into a recession, Commodore 64 computer is released, and now famous American Idol contestant Adam Lambert is born.

1983-Vanessa Williams becomes first black woman to be crowned Miss America, Tom Brokaw becomes NBC Nightly News Anchor, Red Hot Chili Peppers release first album, Michael Jackson’s Thriller video debuts, Microsoft Word is released, the DeLorean ceases production, the Chicken McNugget is introduced, MLK,Jr Day is signed into federal law, and Mila Kunis is born.

1984-Apple Macintosh is introduced, Michael Jackson wins 8 Grammys, Pierre Trudeau retires, The longest game in MLB history occurs between Milwaukee Brewers and Chicago White Sox, Virgin Atlantic takes first flight, Vanessa Williams resigns as Miss America over nude photo scandal, Crack Cocaine makes appearance in L.A., Ronald Reagan makes off the cuff joke about bombing Russia…ooops, they were ON THE AIR, and Scarlett Johansson is born.

1985-Minolta releases world’s first autofocus SLR, Mike Tyson has his first pro fight, DNA is first used in a criminal case, Dian Fossey is murdered in Rwanda, Windows 1.0 is released, Calvin & Hobbes debuts,teacher  Christa McAuliffe learns she will ride aboard Space Shuttle Challenger the next year,Spanish galleon Nuestra Señora de Atocha is found with treasures worth $400 million, South Africa ends ban on interracial marriages, and my date from Wednesday night… was born near Ithaca, New York. World population is 4,830,979,000

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