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Posts Tagged ‘ocd’

It’s a cold night and I have just put my Type Geek texting to rest. Not ready to face the mounds of laundry that are resting on my bed in need of folding, hanging and otherwise putting away, I opted for a cup of Vosges La Parisienne Hot Chocolate with some vanilla bean and a dash of cayenne. Drinking it in my favorite mug, I couldn’t help but wish I was curled up on his couch watching Mad Men with him. Unfortunately, that isn’t happening. Unfortunately, I am sitting in a half renovated messy condo located in a stalled neighborhood of tacos, tacos, two Italian joints, and more tacos. Oh, and a pupuseria. It is for the best that I am not there this evening. I have too many commitments on Monday and must be out of my place by 9:45, at the latest. This all will be easier, when I am closer. At least, the travel back and forth will be easier, the logistics of seeing him, that is. Do I think our situation will be easier, aww, hells no. Can I hope, perhaps. I am realistic though. I think he has some trust issues, some attachment issues. His ex cheated on him multiple times. Not once, not twice, hell, maybe more than three. I know that from what he said, it was just completely out of hand. I can relate to wanting him more available when he is in work mode and feeling pushed aside and compartmentalized, but that doesn’t mean, now that I decided to stop seeing other people and be exclusive, yet still casual, that I would go have a grudge fuck. It wouldn’t make me feel better and ultimately it wouldn’t get me out of my compartment and closer to him. It isn’t always about me, or her or even him. Sometimes it is a symptom of the OCD and he is powerless to it, sometimes it truly just is an unavoidable work load that MUST be dealt with, however, sometimes it is my internalizing and resulting unexpected geyser of insecurity or his inability to see the entire picture after tunnelling on work and so, subsequently, he does things out of such rigid self focus, that I get lost, I am invisible. Are all of these things that can be dealt with? Yeah, sure.  2011 is creeping up fast. Less than 4 months. In roughly 13 weeks, this blog will have its year anniversary. I’m not sure what the story is yet. I have been battling back and forth a manuscript for the novel and I’m unsure, of so many things.

What is the story to you, the readers? Why do you read me, post after post? What do you want to know? What do you wish you knew more about? What is this journey to you?

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What an interesting week I had! I got laid 3 times, in 4 days… by two different men. One, uber needy and slighty stalkeresque. The other, unexpectedly fabulous. But again, wow, no sex for MONTHS…and then 2 men in 4 days. I feel so… dirty, no. Naughty? No. Hmm, what is that word? Oh, relieved. Ha! YES, that IS what I feel.

In a week so much has changed though. Mr. Lawyer McBratty, whom I slept with on Wednesday night and whose bedroom skills fell into the category of pleasant mediocrity, was just TOO much to bear in terms of personality flaws. He began systematically insulting everything I was passionate about if he didn’t understand it or like it. From my musical tastes to my spiritual and philosophical leanings to my relationships with animals. He said that I was intelligent with good common sense, so why was I being irrational in my interests? He was being argumentative in order to make my arguments more precise, he explained. Oh, I thought it was to ensure that he would never get laid again. Needless to say, but, he is completely out of the picture in only 6 days!

Type Geek has won himself the gift of regular sex after taking a surprise turn from shy non move maker to my new oral sex rock god. Can we all say hallelujah?! All hail the man who can get me to curl up in a ball and break into hysterics. (Does anyone else out there laugh hysterically when they cum? Am I an anomaly?)

Now, the bookends. In my weekend post I mentioned having chatted up a hot McHotty from Spain on the dating site and arranging to have coffee with him on Saturday afternoon, prior to my date with Type Geek. The hottie, in person, was even hotter than he was in virtual 2-d. Yes, I keep saying hot. A mix of Bradley Cooper and Ralph Fiennes, I nicknamed him Cooper Fiennes. We had a great few hours together on Saturday. Very easy to spend time with him.

My date with Type Geek spanned the Saturday evening into Sunday early afternoon. Evening and morning sex, multiple meals, and lots of time spent naked in bed. An excellent pinnacle to the weekend. I spent a few hours at home on Sunday, wrote a post for this blog, showered, ate a real meal and then I received an email from Cooper Fiennes. He was in the city with his childhood best friend, a man visiting from Spain. If I was in the city, would I like to meet up with them for coffee? The dog and I decided that coffee was a great idea, if it meant strolling around with a dangerously handsome man who finds me attractive.

His friend was a darling man. I bought all of us coffee and we sat in the sun with my dog. The boys even took turns walking her, something they found entertaining because of her inherent youthful exuberance. When she and I walked them to the train and said our ciao’s, she whined frantically as they ascended the escalators to the platform. They had made quite the impression on my little girl. It was a nice end to a very fun, very sexy weekend. Great sex bookended by coffee with a gorgeous foreigner. Yes, please.

Now, the new week has begun. It has already begun to fall into place. I had a re-exam by my dentist, you may remember him as the youngster who likes rough sex… but later admitted that it was only because he was trying to emotionally protect himself. He is a doll…and now, he is my dentist. He graduates in a few short weeks and will be moving to Minnesota sadly, so, we have three appointments this week in order to ensure he has completed all my fillings prior to his getting signed off and cleared for diploma. In addition to that, I was going to go to NYC to see my Virtual Sex Guru pal present an art piece he has been working on, however, things fell apart at the 10 o’clock hour. With a sudden free evening, Cooper Fiennes has stepped up for a night of cocktails and the cinema. Saturday is an outdoor music festival with Type Geek and my pooch, with a high potential for naughtiness later that evening. The topper of the week, however, is this. Guess who started texting the hell out of me this afternoon? Guess who really wants to see me and have lunch. Guess who might need to wait til next week. If you said Brooklyn, you would be correct. My feelings for him have not changed, however, until HIS ability to process and respectively assimilate his feelings for me into his life, in a way other than how he has been doing it the last couple of months, I refuse to jump through hoops and make myself available at his whim. I will not contort my reality in order to fit him in. It’s not my job.

Sigh. I think this may be a very interesting summer. A hot summer fling with a divorced Spanish man who is unnecessarily good-looking, regular naughtiness with an ocd designer, and the myriad of other men who may happen upon my lap, or I upon theirs, in the coming months. May we all have some adventures worth talking about.

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