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Posts Tagged ‘kids’

I woke up yesterday morning with some errands planned and a tentative date scheduled for the evening. He is someone whom I talked to a bit in December and then lost touch for a few weeks until the end of January. We agreed earlier in the week to have a loosely scheduled date in the 6:30 ish realm for Saturday night. No hard defined plans. Honestly, I was not feeling like it though and was hoping that I didn’t hear from him. He had suddenly become a Plan B.

After my meet-up turned date on Friday afternoon I found myself thinking a lot about Brooklyn Boy. I hadn’t met anyone whom I immediately felt an ease and comfort with like I did in his company. It seemed as if we had known each other for years as our rapport was so natural and unforced. He Google IM’d me around 9 pm and we spent several hours chatting online before I told him MY big “secret”. His response to my news, that I was just coming out of over a decade of lesbian exclusivity, was one of  surprise but not offense.  Most people aren’t offended per se, but there are preconceived beliefs that can interfere with someone’s attempts at getting to know me for who I am, which isn’t only as someone with a queer slant to my sexuality. Maybe it’s the New York in him, he isn’t fazed by much. He wants to see me on Saturday, if I am available. This is WHY my original date became my Plan B, as Brooklyn Boy suddenly took over top billing. I decided that if I didn’t hear from Plan B by 2 pm on Saturday, Brooklyn would win the spot.

So, I woke up as my 25-year-old texted me, hung over from a party the night before. I’m in need of distraction and ask him if he wants to tag along with me on my errands. We met an hour later, watched enough of the DVR’d Olympics to see the luger die and I dragged him out of his apartment. I couldn’t watch the news coverage, it was just too dreadfully sad. Meanwhile, I kept hoping I didn’t hear from Plan B.

We wandered around the city, grabbed some sesame balls from Chinatown, picked up my duvet cover, bought some dog food and then wrapped up our early afternoon adventure at a café with some latte’s, cinnamon tortilla chips and sea-salted caramels. 2 pm had come and gone and Brooklyn Boy had texted me and agreed to pick me up at my place at 4:30. A new hair conditioner I used in the morning had turned my hair into a bad science experiment show and tell exhibit so I had an hour to rush back to my place to rewash my hair and be ready.

The train was delayed. Tick Tock Tick Tock. Argh. I texted him begging that he please not be early. As I was hitting send, he texted me letting me know he would be roughly 20 minutes late. Score! I finally made it home, fed the dog, washed my hair and changed three times before taking the dog out for a quick last walk before he arrived.

A few minutes later he arrives in his family van, a sign of a parent with two young kids, and we decide to go into the city and figure out our plan from there. He’s still cute and I’m still intrigued. Sometimes the initial interest wanes after you go home after a date but it didn’t with him. I want his story. We are both obsessed with stories about people, we have similar projects we are planning on working on that are built around the stories of people you pass by every day and never think much about. Everyone has a story worth telling and being heard.We find a parking spot with a 2 hour limit but 2.5 hours until it switches over to free. We make note to stop back by later. Since his soon to be declared ex-wife doesn’t drink, he doesn’t get the opportunity to go out for cocktails much so we decide to start there. We each had a Dark and Stormy, chatted, laughed, people watched and then another round and some kisses and some more laughing and then a final 3rd round. Starting so early with the cocktails and having had so little to eat earlier in the day had us both a little pie eyed. We left and realized the time. Surely he had a ticket. We hesitantly walked by the family van and SCORE again, no ticket. That NEVER happens on this particular street. We look at each other quizzically and decide that to go to a little book store café down the street, maybe grab a bite and a cup of tea, sober up some.

Somehow we ended up sitting on the floor in the far aisle of the bookstore against a stack of unpopular books. I say they are unpopular because we sat there for 4 hours and only 3 people walked by the entire time. 3 people whom we chatted up and exchanged info with. Over the span of time we were sprawled on the floor we varied in position, at times I had my head in his lap as we looked through books, other times he leaned into me, or we faced each other, legs entwined and backs against opposing shelves.  The people who we met, one of them asked how long we had been together, how we had met. We laughed. When we confessed they looked shocked. They said that we appeared to have known eachother for years. We looked at eachother and smiled, it felt like that.We sat there on that floor for 4 hours like an old couple, punctuating moments with kisses, absent-minded caresses and laughter. He showed me illustrators he liked, I showed him a book of poems by Neruda, whom he had never read. He reads out loud. It’s nice, comforting, inclusive. I can not remember the last time I had felt such an ease with another person.

Eventually the bookstore threw us out because they were closing. he had a long drive back home so we decided to get back to the car and get me home. Only, we sat and talked, and talked, and stared at each other and laughed and kissed for 2 more hours. When we finally looked at the clock and saw that it was past 2, we untangled ourselves from our embrace and got serious about getting me home. Parked in front of my condo, I suggested I grab the dog for her last pee, and so he could meet her. In addition to kids, he also has a big cumbersome male dog. My pooch barely let me out the door before she had dragged me across the sidewalk and practically tackled him. She spent 15 minutes engrossed in him and the delicious scents of his family van. It’s a treasure trove of dropped kid snacks and dog cookie crumbles. We laughed at her and said our good nights. I made him promise to text me when he has arrived home safely.

I spent the next 2 hours chatting via IM with varying friends who happened to be online. We talk about him, I send over pics to them. Everyone approves, some worry about the complications of his current status. I counter that we all have baggage, some hide it better. His however, is completely in view. No apologies, it is, what it is. He has kids, he is in the process of getting divorced and for some reason something in my profile resonated with him and made him sign up to meet me. I consider that a gift. A fabulously unexpected gift.

Today is Valentine’s Day. Brooklyn Boy just texted me that he misses me. Is it okay that I find this sweet and not unnerving? I guess I like him too, so it’s okay. I have an Anti-Valentine’s Day date scheduled with my 25-year-old tonight but I am tired and really want to clean my house. I am also feeling a little run down. I am going to see if he minds a rain check. I would rather get some laundry done, take some Motrin (thank you period for arriving this morning), and watch I Love You, New York with my pup and some take out pho. I hope he understands.

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Two words … AWE  SOME !! So, we are gonna call this boy, Brooklyn Boy. Only started speaking to him on Thursday. He winked at me on one of those sites and I didn’t respond. He didn’t have a profile pic. I do NOT respond to contact from faceless boy wonders. A day later, I get an email. I read it, wtf, why not?! Ok, so, he’s clever but still NO picture. His mini bio talks about Brooklyn though, I love Brooklyn. I miss Brooklyn dearly. So, against my usual better wishes, I click into his full profile to see more. He has a secondary photo that is slightly arty and a little too distant, BUT it shows that he is at least not obese or bald. Fine, I email him back. I do let him know that I am ONLY emailing because he mentioned Brooklyn, because I do NOT normally respond to profiles without pics. Of course he has an explanation for this. He’s only been on the site 36 hours and the other photos haven’t posted yet.

We spend Thursday evening passing back and forth many emails filled with witty banter. Friday morning he asks me to meet him for coffee or tea later in the afternoon. His eagerness isn’t off-putting, it doesn’t smell of desperation. He tells me that the profile photos have finally been approved and posted to the site. I check them out and sigh a happy sigh of relief and get a little giddy because he is quite attractive. Huge warm and happy, yet slightly goofy smile with bright joyful eyes and yay, lots of hair. I have realized I love hair. On the heads of men I find attractive I mean, cause we all know, I don’t like hair. Hello, next waxing appointment!? Anyway, head hair is a major tactile part of the making out experience for me. Anyway, I digress. He’s super attractive and since he emailed me his personal email in the body of the dating site email, I was able to Google him and be wonderfully impressed that he has made it his career to make the world a place that is safe and “right”  for everyone. Ok, he is handsome, he is interested in me, he is someone who is admirable and respectable, and he is from Brooklyn. Of course I agree to meet him for coffee / tea.

We meet outside of a train station and greet each other with warm smiles and a kind friendly hug. We decide to walk to a coffee-house a few blocks away and sit and talk. We get his “complication” out in the open quickly. He is seperated. Not yet divorced but working towards the finalizing of said marriage and he has two young children. He shows me a photo and they are two of the most beautiful children I have seen. (My nieces, who rock, are, by far, the MOST beautiful EVER. No offense to anyone.) Ok, minor complication but not a huge thing. We all have had prior relationships and hell, this is just tea.

Only, is it just tea? We sat for a couple of hours at the café and chatted, about Brooklyn, photography, his ex, my exes (I had not yet told him about the gender of said exes), our dogs, his career, my business, how much we are both a bit Meh about this city and life. We just talked about life. He started to get heavy talking about the dissolution of his marriage when I made an executive decision that we needed something to lighten the mood. We needed cupcakes. So, I stuck him back on the train and drug him to my favorite place for a couple of rum soaked, vanilla and lime infused, butter cream topped nomnomnommy cupcakes. And life was good again.

I walked him back to his office, on the way back to the train, so he could pick up his things. He is fascinating. He invited me on a trip to NYC next week. I would, but I can’t because of prior commitments. The trip itself, the event he is attending, is a once in a lifetime event. I could try to juggle things but my going on an overnight trip with him now, it would lessen this somehow. Do I want the event or am I curious about this crazy connection we seem to be feeling? Did I mention the strange fact that we lived between 4-6 blocks from each other in Brooklyn in 1999 and worked 2 blocks from each other in Manhattan? We rode the same train everyday and never met. I find that fascinating.

We parted ways at the train station with a hug that was warmer and more date like than it began. I walked away with a smirk. I sent him a text on the train, thanking him for being such a pleasant surprise. At the exact time I hit send, I received a text from him, thanking me for being so spontaneous and meeting him today. We shared a few more texts, then some emails and before you knew it, we had chatted on Google chat for 4 hours.

I like him, without a well, but, meh, eh or hmm. Yes, there is the divorce thing. But really, that is what it is. This is an interesting development. Oh, and I asked him how the online dating has been for him so far. He blushed and admitted that he only signed up to meet me and by his reaction, I knew it was sincere. This IS going to be an interesting adventure, I already can tell.

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