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Posts Tagged ‘hospitals’

Illustration by Michael Hacker

Life doesn’t stop occurring because one person has died. You can’t expect for a giant hand to pick up a giant remote control and hit pause. Things don’t go back to normal because normal changes, it becomes something different, a new variation on normal. When an integral part of you is taken away, life becomes like traveling in a foreign land in which you don’t speak the language or recognize the shapes of the signs.

On Saturday evening, Type Geek’s brother was pulled from the machines, and he passed away Sunday evening, surrounded by family. They are now gathered at the family compound, silent and processing and mourning. I wish I could do more, do something, relieve the pain somehow, but this is my job, to wait and be available when he comes home. To not say anything and just listen. To hold him. Or, to give him space and allow him time to mourn the loss of his only big brother.

On Monday, life continued on, without any dramatic pause. All of the messy complications of living, the wrong drink at Starbucks, the long line of traffic, the irritation of not being able to hear your friend at lunch because the parties on either side don’t understand the concept of inside voices, and of course, hysterical mishaps that result in comedic injuries. The comedy of life doesn’t stop because death has happened. After an early lunch on Monday I stepped on wet concrete with a pair of Tom’s Shoes and one leg hydroplaned while one remained on a dry patch and resulted in my successful execution of an almost full split, without the flexibility required to do such a thing. My friend Poppy was with me as my right knee slammed to the ground in a quiet thud and my left leg extended out in an angle better left for Mary Lou Retten or Jenna Jameson. Left with a severe hobble I spent the rest of the day with an elevated leg wrapped in gauze and a stomach full of ibuprofen.

The comedy of errors doesn’t stop there. After Poppy left, I decided to finish this post and send it over to my syndicators, only my computer wouldn’t hold a charge and the thing wasn’t reading the ac power supply hook up. So, I frantically tried to finish it before the system shut down, only I didn’t make it. I tried writing my post via my not so smart phone but that didn’t work, and so I sighed and threw in the towel. I found an available Zipcar at 1 pm today and drove over to MicroCenter and bought a new power cord. The staff there is less than gentlemanly, seeing me hobble and obviously in discomfort, the fat older sales guy made me hobble down the aisles so he could sit his lazy ass down while we plugged in the adapter to see if it worked. Of course there was a plug exactly where we were, but having me walk the entire distance of the store, one hop at a time, seemed to be his particular style of customer service.

Now I am back home, and this post is late, but it is finished. At the end of my day, it’s just a post, a power cord, a comedic slip and fall resulting in a humbling bruise and dedication to becoming a bit more flexible so I am not so prone to overextension in the future (and yes, avoiding wet spots on concrete floors) because this is all just the filler for the space between the moments. Life isn’t about what we achieve, what we possess, what we are… it is about who we are and who we love and how we do that. Life is about the connections we make. Today, Type Geek is with his family and they are saying goodbye to his big brother and planning his services. Today, I am remembering that nothing else but that simple act of love and respect is what truly matters.

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You know when you hit a certain age and things hurt? When you turn things seem to just fall apart because suddenly you aren’t mocking the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” lady because suddenly you are her. I threw out part of my back and shoulder yesterday. Excruciating pain, limited mobility. Add insult to injury… I am still on my cleanse so no comfort food AND I started my period. Ha, funny joke world. But enough about literal me, you want the dirt.
 
This weekend was fairly uneventful. The weather was amazing so I met up with a documentary filmmaker for some iced green tea, just about the only thing besides lemon juice, cayenne, maple syrup and water, which I am allowed to consume. He was okay. Tall. More handsome in his photos. Kinda scruffy but less in a sexy way and more in a lazy way.
 
We sat in the local greenway and chatted as we people watched and kept my dog from killing other dogs. Eventually we moved to the tea shop and, amusingly enough, as we were walking in, I noticed someone on the patio engaged in an apparent 1st date whom I had been corresponding on line with back in December. We never were quite able to get our schedules together. So, after we pick up our teas from inside, I try to steer Doc Film Boy to an bench away from the cafe or at least the other side of the patio BUT he insists that we should sit on the ledge of the patio, coincidentally, right next to Euro Pastry Chef and his eastern european first date, Oy. I was certain he would recognize me. On this particular day I happened to look just like my profile photo. My dog kept bothering his date who was yammering away and I could see there was zero chemistry. We all chatted at one point. I was so sure that he recognized me. Doc Film Boy and I eventually left, as he had a project to get back to and, quite frankly, there was as much chemistry between us as two blind and deaf strangers sitting three seats away from each other. I wished the Euro Pastry Boy and his date a good day and walked my date back to his place.
 
The weather was so nice that my pooch and I decided to do some wandering. We found an amazing used book store and stocked up on some great books by Kazan, Baker, Robbins, and Rilke, and we then picked her up some dinner, since her raw dog food had just finished off that morning. Raw lamb anyone?
 
Sunday was another day out in the sun. The first weekend of May always brings street festivals, so the pup and I boarded the train and headed out to one of the bigger ones. This particular festival is hell to anyone on a liquid dietary cleanse. Sigh, the food smelled soooo good. We received a text that afternoon that Type Geek would be unable to meet up as originally intended due to a family crisis. His brother was in town visiting for their parent’s anniversary and the upcoming Mother’s Day weekend and looked like utter death. He had been trying to self treat a chronic health problem that turned his system septic. He was jaundiced, internally bleeding, and 40 pounds thinner than he had been just 5 months earlier. The family staged an intervention and brought him to the ER. Days later he is now stabilized and moved to a better care facility but still in ICU. The doctors have yet to determine what is the cause of all of his problems, let alone what the long term affects are. So, Type Geek was spending the entire day in hospital emergency waiting rooms while I laid in the grass with my dog and an iced green tea on a sunny 80+ degree May Sunday. I think I definitely got the better deal of the hand on that one, wouldn’t you say.
 
Oh and regarding the Euro Pastry guy, I emailed him when I had settled in at home Saturday evening. Apologizing that my dog had disturbed his date and reiterating that I had truly TRIED to get my date to NOT sit where we did. Interestingly enough, he didn’t recognize me. He did however respond that, wow, I am quite pretty. Ha Ha. So, we have been bantering back and forth a bit since Sunday morning. I am also talking with a divorced man from San Diego who loves good fish tacos as much as I and used to own art galleries. So, who knows what the week will bring. And Monday? It started off with Brooklyn acknowledging and apologizing for how unfair he has been, admitting that it’s a shite thing he is doing to me, but that he needs to do self work alone at the moment. I really appreciated that. I miss him and I could really use a back rub from him right about now.    

Tuesday posts are web-syndicated by www.thenewgay.net

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