Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘farmer’

Let’s wrap up and just cross off the list those that we are not carrying over into 2010:

Peruvian Hottie (collective BOOOOO), Jewish Dad with dogs (eh, his laugh ANNOYED me so I never even went out with him), the Luthier (just wasn’t feeling terribly attracted to him, seemed nice but eh), The Hickie Giving Musician (just can’t do it, not feeling it), Rosemary (we all know why), the Aussie (young), and the Farmer (a girl can only be so patient).

Here is the new cluster of boys/men:

Academic (super cute and younger and had some hmm, hot chat sex, ooops), Former Reporter (turns out we have some history in another life that overlaps), Tattooed Rock Musician (seems nice, feeling eh about it), Tattooed Insomniac Artist (makes cakes at 2:30 in the morning, cause he’s in the mood for cake and milk. It’s either cute or weird or maybe both),Art Teacher (interesting, quirky), Middle School Teacher (a little odd, not sure about him yet) and there is the Flannel Turkish guy from New Year’s Eve, which is a night I will explain in a moment.

There you have a list of the guys I am currently speaking with and trying to figure out what they are about. Follow along in the future.

Now, New Year’s Eve. I heard nothing back from Peruvian, a huge disappointment but life must go on. I called the foreigner and we opted to go to this chill lounge on the other side of town. We met close by and drove over together. I worried that the night was going to be a bust when we walked in and there were only 15 people there! It was only 9:30, I remained hopeful. So, we sat, we drank, we covered ourselves from the cold blast of arctic air each time the door opened. Eventually people filtered in and a) blocked the cold air (yay!) and b) suddenly filled the joint! After I picked up my 3rd drink, I was ready to move a bit. The DJ’s were doing an amazing job mixing up funk, disco, 80’s, and various electronic tracks and everyone had a groove working. I made notice of an attractive gentleman at one point, looked at him a few times and smiled once or twice. Young, but very cute and TALL.

So, I danced. I had begun work on another cocktail and midnight came around. The foreigner grabbed me and started making out with me (?!) and then I went back to dancing. After midnight the crowd loosened up as people had gotten their midnight kissage out-of-the-way and were now just having fun. A turkish guy started dancing with me and eventually making out with me. It was fun but I was still thinking of the young cute Tall thing over in the corner from earlier. Eventually, I was able to make my way over there and at some point ended up kissing one of the DJ’s (really?! He was good, but that good?) and provided a charity kiss to an older woman who had never kissed a woman in her life, until at some point I got a hold of the Tall Cutie. Best lips of the night.

Eventually the bar closed and the foreigner and I left without my getting the young man’s name. His kiss is stuck on my lips though. I put out a Craigslist Missed Connection. What else do you do? How do you find someone after the fact? I’m not looking for love with him, but maybe a cocktail and some more kissage. Mmmm, kissage.

The night wrapped uneventfully and we now find ourselves in 2010. It feels odd. Surreal. 2009 was a bad year for me. It began with the death of an older friend and ended with perhaps a death to my former self. At least, a shedding of that former self. Let’s see what 2010 has to offer. A new decade, a new self, a whole new adventure.

Read Full Post »

Hulu might just be the most terribly boring way to spend a Christmas. In this case, boring is good. No family drama, no expectations, no obsessive niceties, and no regrets of things that should have or could have been said or done. I had planned to get together with the Jewish dad either yesterday or today, however, I suddenly found myself feeling extremely introverted and anti-social. I am also feeling guilty, or at least, my astrology.com daily love tarot reading  is making me feel like an asshole. I have received the same identical reading in my email for weeks. King of Pentacles. Eeek. This is what it says:

 “The King of Pentacles card suggests that when it comes to your relationship or love life, there can be too much of a good thing, particularly if you fall into the trap of showing off. Like an all-you-can-eat buffet, where what you want is quantity, the situation changes or disappears once the want has been sated. But in matters of the heart, do what you believe, which, like a banquet, is all about quality. Tend to what you need, consider those who rely on you for support and practice gratitude. You may find that you are surrounded by a cornucopia of abundance and in a position to share this bounty with others. The more you give, the less you will suffer want in the first place. Get back to basics and make a clean sweep of those things that are cluttering up your love life or distracting you from true commitment and sensual pleasure.”

Ok, so this blog is bad karma? Am I dooming myself because of it? Oh geez, as if I needed ANOTHER existential dilemma in my life. So, in my moments of reflection today, in between my bouts of cursing at my email, I thought about what I have been doing. I have not been going out with anyone I didn’t find genuinely interesting and attractive or potentially attractive. My interest has begun to wain in some of them, when you don’t meet right away, the initial excitement can wear down and it can begin to feel like scheduling a dental appointment. The sites have been quiet, no new members that are peeking my interest at the moment.

The hickie guy was nice, he wants to go out again, but I don’t know, I’m just not really there. I think it was a really fun couple of dates but ultimately I have to ask myself if I find the nightly quest for a gig to watch my idea of fun. I don’t. Plus, he’s cute but the thought of him doesn’t excite me. It should, right? Farmer guy? Really nice and funny and attractive but Jesus Christ man, I can’t wait forever for someone to decide whether they want to make a move. He is reminding me of this artist/musician whom I had a crush on for almost a year when I was 17. I met this guy at a pledge drive for a community radio station I used to volunteer at and thought he was the cutest thing. He had these crazy curls on his head and was covered with potters dust and clay, as he must have just come from his studio to the station. I was friends with him and his then girlfriend for about 6 months and then lost track of them both. One night I ran into him at one of the dance clubs I frequented. We went for a walk and were catching up and then sat down on the tracks behind the club. Eventually, he made the move to kiss me. It was the single worst kiss of my entire life. I honestly mopped my face off after and got up and, if my memory serves me correctly, never spoke to him again. It really was THAT bad. So, you see, now I fear that if farmer were to try to kiss me… it would be like those train tracks. Where else does that leave me? The one I want to go back out with but that is “overwhelmed” with life at the moment. So, I have stayed away all week until a nice short Merry Christmas email today and of course the New Year’s Eve invite he will receive tomorrow. If this was a romantic comedy… he would go out with me again. I am attractive, quirky, intelligent, regretful for being wacky, I know how to kiss and I am all about climbing on top of him and kissing him again. I have not heard back from him regarding the email, however with it being Christmas day, I was not assuming that I would, however I do hope that I hear something by Sunday regarding the invite, once he receives it. I am not looking for some great love from this. I find it difficult to find strong physical connections with anyone so this is my reason for wanting to spend time with him again. It feels good to have the body be so alive after such a long silence. Also, did I mention the smile on that man. Kills me.

So, what am I dealing with here? I guess the same thing as everyone out there, except I am blogging about it. Of course, not everyone has just changed sexual orientations to see what else might be out there. Fundamentally I think we are all dealing with the same dilemmas though. Attraction, expectations, loneliness, fear, excitement, regrets, concerns, what if’s, only if’s, could have been’s… and hope. We all have hope, right?

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: