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Posts Tagged ‘cayenne’

The year started off with blueberry dotted chipotle, cracked cayenne, and alderwood smoked sea salt chocolate cupcakes … frosted with nutella. Some Lambrusco I picked up from my new local wine shoppe, conveniently run by a woman whom I had hot sex with for 3 months back in my late 20’s. The southerner whose Baton Rouge oozed out during orgasm when she let out her Oh Gawd’s with a twang. Jesus, that women was hot, and she still is pretty good-looking, if I am to be honest. We hadn’t seen each other in 5 years, since running into each other one evening at a bar. She was surprised to see me, but pleasantly so, it appeared.

Originally I had hoped to spend New Year’s Eve in varying degrees of undress… and giddy drunkenness. Unfortunately, the universe decided that Type Geek needed yet another colossal crisis that needed solving and so he trekked through the woods and went ice climbing to a mountain peak, where he then proceeded to camp, alone, and find the answers for the questions he has been presented. I get it, they are big questions, life and death questions, with very real consequences. I am disappointed, that is natural, but I do get it.

The universe then decided to test my own resolve… by bringing an old flirtation back online… he is back in the states from Argentina, where he has been doing some graduate work. Drunk, he flirted incessantly, and sent me a photo I had sent him a year prior. He thanked me for being an exhibitionist and, in his sexually aroused state of drunkenness, was asking to come over, asking for more photos. He ” didn’t want to ruin my relationship” though, didn’t want to interfere. Didn’t he understand that he doesn’t really have that power? I declined, explaining that things have changed for me. I’m sexually exclusive with someone I love, sure he isn’t my boyfriend, but he is someone whom I care deeply for and wish to keep around for a pretty long time.

I’m beginning the year in love, in frustration, in less control than ever before. I have moved in with other people, and realized one roommate is passive aggressive and quite intolerable, the one who confessed his feelings for me regarding his favoritism on OK Cupid. I have found myself in a job that can sometimes border on unhealthy due to a member of the management team who relies on bullying, physical and emotional harassment and a tendency towards too many French 75’s while working. Then of course, there is the being in love, with someone who cares enough not to want me to go away, but is petrified of letting me in far enough that he could actually fall for me. Oh sigh.

All of this begs the question… in 365 days, where will we all be?

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You know when you hit a certain age and things hurt? When you turn things seem to just fall apart because suddenly you aren’t mocking the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” lady because suddenly you are her. I threw out part of my back and shoulder yesterday. Excruciating pain, limited mobility. Add insult to injury… I am still on my cleanse so no comfort food AND I started my period. Ha, funny joke world. But enough about literal me, you want the dirt.
 
This weekend was fairly uneventful. The weather was amazing so I met up with a documentary filmmaker for some iced green tea, just about the only thing besides lemon juice, cayenne, maple syrup and water, which I am allowed to consume. He was okay. Tall. More handsome in his photos. Kinda scruffy but less in a sexy way and more in a lazy way.
 
We sat in the local greenway and chatted as we people watched and kept my dog from killing other dogs. Eventually we moved to the tea shop and, amusingly enough, as we were walking in, I noticed someone on the patio engaged in an apparent 1st date whom I had been corresponding on line with back in December. We never were quite able to get our schedules together. So, after we pick up our teas from inside, I try to steer Doc Film Boy to an bench away from the cafe or at least the other side of the patio BUT he insists that we should sit on the ledge of the patio, coincidentally, right next to Euro Pastry Chef and his eastern european first date, Oy. I was certain he would recognize me. On this particular day I happened to look just like my profile photo. My dog kept bothering his date who was yammering away and I could see there was zero chemistry. We all chatted at one point. I was so sure that he recognized me. Doc Film Boy and I eventually left, as he had a project to get back to and, quite frankly, there was as much chemistry between us as two blind and deaf strangers sitting three seats away from each other. I wished the Euro Pastry Boy and his date a good day and walked my date back to his place.
 
The weather was so nice that my pooch and I decided to do some wandering. We found an amazing used book store and stocked up on some great books by Kazan, Baker, Robbins, and Rilke, and we then picked her up some dinner, since her raw dog food had just finished off that morning. Raw lamb anyone?
 
Sunday was another day out in the sun. The first weekend of May always brings street festivals, so the pup and I boarded the train and headed out to one of the bigger ones. This particular festival is hell to anyone on a liquid dietary cleanse. Sigh, the food smelled soooo good. We received a text that afternoon that Type Geek would be unable to meet up as originally intended due to a family crisis. His brother was in town visiting for their parent’s anniversary and the upcoming Mother’s Day weekend and looked like utter death. He had been trying to self treat a chronic health problem that turned his system septic. He was jaundiced, internally bleeding, and 40 pounds thinner than he had been just 5 months earlier. The family staged an intervention and brought him to the ER. Days later he is now stabilized and moved to a better care facility but still in ICU. The doctors have yet to determine what is the cause of all of his problems, let alone what the long term affects are. So, Type Geek was spending the entire day in hospital emergency waiting rooms while I laid in the grass with my dog and an iced green tea on a sunny 80+ degree May Sunday. I think I definitely got the better deal of the hand on that one, wouldn’t you say.
 
Oh and regarding the Euro Pastry guy, I emailed him when I had settled in at home Saturday evening. Apologizing that my dog had disturbed his date and reiterating that I had truly TRIED to get my date to NOT sit where we did. Interestingly enough, he didn’t recognize me. He did however respond that, wow, I am quite pretty. Ha Ha. So, we have been bantering back and forth a bit since Sunday morning. I am also talking with a divorced man from San Diego who loves good fish tacos as much as I and used to own art galleries. So, who knows what the week will bring. And Monday? It started off with Brooklyn acknowledging and apologizing for how unfair he has been, admitting that it’s a shite thing he is doing to me, but that he needs to do self work alone at the moment. I really appreciated that. I miss him and I could really use a back rub from him right about now.    

Tuesday posts are web-syndicated by www.thenewgay.net

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