This isn’t the goodbye I wanted. Two and a half years ago I began this blog because a friend found my dating stories hilarious. They were hilarious. Learning how to date from the other side, when I understood women and how relationships with women work. Since I started the blog I stopped defining myself as gay, even as queer, which was something I did for about a year. The majority of my adult sexual life was lived as a lesbian. Something shifted one day, and then I wasn’t gay anymore. I can’t full explain it, I don’t want to try. I’m done explaining.
The purpose of this blog was to show one woman’s authentic experiences during a period in her life. There were moments when this blog provided comfort for me, as well as others, but then there were the times when I was forced to defend myself and my relationship actions and made to feel criminal for caring about a man who is troubled. How dare I find someone worth loving who has issues. Hey everyone, guess what, we ALL have issues. Some of us are just better at faking them in public. Yes, I am spending time with him again, as of a month of so ago and I don’t feel the need to defend it. This blog no longer provides me comfort or joy. It no longer provides me a positive place of supportive community. Perhaps I am realizing that it never really did.
I had hoped to end this blog with me walking off into the sunset …holding hands with Type Geek or some one else. It isn’t happening that way. I’m walking away because I feel I have nothing left to say to this audience. Sure, Type Geek is there still, but not in the romantic sense, he exists as an odd anchor of sorts. So, with that said… It’s time to walk away.