Last night a friend of mine, a DJ, asked me over to have a drink. I guess I was naive. I wasn’t completely sure that he was interested in me in anything other than as a cool chick, however, let’s be real… Men don’t make friends with girls because they think that they are cool. Men make friends with women they find attractive and hope to have a chance at dating or fucking.
He’s a sweet guy but a guy I’d be friends with, not wrap myself around. He reminds me of the men I’ve known through the years. The boys I hung out with in high school. Music nerds, you know, the Jon Cusack character in High Fidelity… but in Jack Black’s body.
So, in my exhausted cluelessness, he started to kiss me. A couple minutes in, not feeling anything, I said that I needed to go. I felt badly and I didn’t want to continue on in a manner that was leading towards someplace I knew wasn’t what I wanted and wasn’t genuine.
Would I have felt differently if he were Jack Black in John Cusack’s body? Maybe. I don’t know for sure. I do know that what I was sure of … was that my staying would have been unfairly leading him on … and that wasn’t something I wanted to do.
Boys and girls can be friends…. but only ‘after’ and not before.
I don’t agree. I often can’t be friends after. 90%, or more, of the time, sex will kill any chances of my friendship with the other person.
Was lamely attempting a little humour…
Your response caused me to stop and think, and I’d say about 50% of my relationships have resulted in warm friendships. These are people I liked before, during and after and continue to enjoy their friendship. Some of course ran away never to talk to me again!
At my advanced age (!) I can and am certainly friends with many women that there will never be an ‘after’ because it’s not that kind of attraction and never will be.
Interesting question.
You pretty much hit the nail on the head with your statement about men wanting to date or sleep with women. Back around the end of high school/beginning of college, a buddy (and yes, it was a buddy) of mine said something to the effect of, “Why would I want to be friends with her unless I wanted to “do” her?” I just always remembered that line.
Now, however, it is so interesting to see where others are coming from, having long distance pen pals, seeing thought patterns emerge. It might be, somewhat, living vicariously, but following different blogs is really not that much different than reading novels (with, of course, some being better than others). Yet, interestingly enough, I don’t use Facebook or follow people that way.
Another outlet is listening to online radio. Living in the middle of nowhere (I get one am station and one fm station), Internet radio has become somewhat of a lifeline to the outside world. Listening to the same shows day after day, these individuals do become part of the extended family, like it or not.
Sunday morning ramblings I guess. . .