I ran into a friend today, one I had a brief crush on a couple of years back and whom I thank the universe for not ever allowing us to hook up because I would have KILLED him. He was headed out for his 4th date with this 30-year-old woman whom he said needed to spice it up a bit. She was too sane, too calm. He likes crazy 25 year olds because they are unpredictable, but he complains because they don’t want a relationship. Hmm. Ok, he complains he can’t find someone our age who is wacky and fun, that as women age we become lame. Umm, I am NOT lame, but this is NOT about me. So, he yammers on a bit and then says that he has 15 minutes to get to his date, on bike, and he is in Somerville, in Davis Square, needing to get down Mass Ave to Newbury Street in Back Bay, which is a good 15 or 20 BY CAR. Hmm. He plans to BIKE in 84 degree weather, across town, so quickly that he will be gross and sweaty, and meet this girl for a date in which he wants her to step it up?! Maybe if he wasn’t wearing a Toucan Sam shirt, covered in sweat on a DATE. If he can’t take her seriously enough to arrive at a date dressed nicely and showered, why should she step it up for him?
Seriously though, I looked around the bar I work at and tonight I noticed so many men wearing man-dles (man sandles, flip flops, etc), sneakers, white tube socks, free promotional schwag t-shirts, and being generally unkempt. These men took 5 minutes to get ready for their date, and that including getting their keys and grabbing the ever wishful condom. Meanwhile, their lady friends showered, shaved, touched up their nails, put on make up, primped the hair, brushed their teeth, and spritzed a little parfum on the way out the door.
MEN… here is a HINT. If you want a woman to fuck you, you have to give us reason to. Clean it up. If you can’t show a little style a few hours every week, for us, why should we wear non cotton underwear, invest in Brazilians, shave the legs, and put on sexy heels for you? If your date showed up in baggy jeans, with unshaven legs, a promo alcohol t-shirt, dirty sneakers, unbrushed hair, no make up, and smelling like she just biked 10 miles in 10 minutes, would you want to fuck her?