I met Daddy WireFramer on OK Cupid and was impressed with his foodie tendencies and that he had a mid-century chair…and old school punk history. Surely he could be the next coming of Type Geek, but less emotionally stunted, right? WRONG. Sigh.
We met at the bar of a local restaurant in my new neighborhood, the music was an odd mix of 90’s dance hits and the bartender wore rubber bands in his goatee. The crowd, even more peculiar as I looked around and saw older couples gazing at each other like teenagers and realized that they were reminiscing about their first date… to this song, when it was NEW. Oy.
Now, I figured Daddy WireFramer (he has a 7-year-old daughter with his ex-wife) was just nervous, or tired, as we met up at 11 and he had been hanging out with his daughter and her friends all day. It became clear over the hour and a half, that nervous was partially the case, but not fully. We each had one drink, he asked if I wanted another, I left that decision to him. He grabbed the check and when I offered to pay for my drink, he accepted my cash and tip. Which, as you know, to me, immediately sets a more friendly, less datey, mind-set for me.
We walked around for about twenty minutes and about 10 minutes in he stated… drumroll please:
…you are definitely out of my league.
NEXT.
Jesus, really?! Did you just say that on a date? Then follow it with, ” you have so much going for you and you are absolutely gorgeous and I’d be honored if you would be my friend, but I know I’m not what you…” I stopped him there. I was in love with a short grey chested bald man. Are you serious? Needless to say, it is not my job to stroke his ego or try to convince him that he is good enough for me. Sigh.
Why can’t I find Type Geek’s emotionally available doppelgänger?
“…you are definitely out of my league.”
… ehmm…. I guess you misinterpreted something here. this was a very nice compliment by somebody who just realized you are much better than he expected.
except he continued on about how he knew that I wasn’t interested in him, blah blah. I didn’t misinterpret. He was telling me that surely I couldn’t be interested in him because I was so good looking and have run a business. If you tell me that you aren’t worth my time on a first date, why should I go on a second?
Wow! I guess he doesn’t realize that such a lack of self confidence is a major turn off to a lot of women. Fake it til you make it next time buddy!! Jeez.
when I first met my partner I took one look at her and my head screamed “damn, she’s HOT…and WAY out of my league.” we initially worked together and formed a friendship but were involved in other relationships. she and her ex moved and we lost touch. after both of us separated from our exes we got back in touch and 2 years later we are crazy in love. in the beginning I still thought she was out of my league but I kept it in my head. eventually I told her how I had felt and she laughed her ass off because she kinda felt the same way.
turns out I’m not out of her league and she’s not out of mine. it’s not solely about physical appearance or social status. there’s so much more involved and if I had copped out because I was “out of her league” I would have missed out on an amazing, loving, honest, and supportive girlfriend!
that’s the killer, really. we limit ourselves in so many ways by assuming that we’re not smart, pretty, athletic, blah, blah, blah enough. my self-esteem is better now, most days anyway, and I’ve come to realize that all that matters is that I’m enough for ME.