Remember how I have said that women ARE bat shit crazy? Even when they appear not to be, they will eventually come out of the cave and show their true sucubus teeth?! Ok, example here… a few nights ago, in the restaurant I work, a bachelorette party sat. As I was refilling their water I was able to overhear many enlightening things. Such as:
“I put $450 worth of takeout on his credit card”, from a friend of the bride to be.
The bride, not wanting to be out done, proclaimed,” well, I heard that he was going away with his new girlfriend , so I reported all of his cards stolen the night he left for his vacation, and I then had the hotel put a $1,000 bottle of wine on his room bill and asked that it be decanted and ready to drink for his arrival. That way, he couldn’t return it, since it was already opened.”
Really? Is that behavior necessary? As it turns out, as she spoke more, I caught that they had been broken up 3 months. Boy, was she bitter. 90 days, MOVE ON!
However, after getting hit on, in the most ridiculous way, by a man doing a bad DeNiro impersonation, who had a girlfriend sitting at his table in the other dining room, I can understand being a little pissed off if someone I was involved with was such a jack ass.
He walks over to me after I show him the way to the restrooms and holds out his hand asking my name. I tell it. He then says, in front of his compadre with the khaki pleat front pants and untucked, but starched, oversized dress shirt and despicable Jersey Shore accent, “Doll, let me tell you a story”
My eyebrow raises at use of the word…Doll. Really?!
He continues, “I am going to give you my number, and you are gonna call me. I am going to spoil you rotten for two weeks and then you are going to get a better offer and dump me. What do you say?”
“While tempting,” I reply,” I am not sure how the gentleman I am seeing would like that story.”
“I’m not asking him, I am asking you,” he says in an even sleezier tone.
“I’m seeing someone whom I happen to very much enjoy,I can’t. Sorry. ” I say, hoping that it is enough.
“What if I do my DeNiro impersonation for you?”, he whines.
He then proceeds to do an impression of DeNiro which looks as if someone shone light in DeNiro’s eyes while he was on the toilet constipated. Does that impression even work? Does he think it is charming, sexy, endearing? He looks like a constipated blind douche bag with poor choice is fashion, friends and pick up lines.
Type Geek comes home tonight. Thrilled.