It’s highly unlikely that he is ACTUALLY seeing other people. The man rarely has any time. UNLESS, all the times that he says he is at the office working, he isn’t. That could be possible. It could be. I don’t think he is a flat-out liar though.
Does he talk to people still online? Probably yes. Most definitely.
Is asking my friend who lives nearby to keep an eye out in the hood for Type Geek and if there are other women that seem chummy… healthy or right? Probably not. While it doesn’t reach crazy girl area, it’s a stretch that I realized isn’t what you want to start healthy relationships on. (Did I use the r word just then?)
Besides, IF there is another one, what can I do? My question still isn’t properly answered, because the proper communication hasn’t occurred to begin with. So, I told my friend, that I changed my mind. Momentary lapse of premenstrual insecurity I said. That I would, in fact, muster up the courage to ask the right questions of him, I said. Truth is, his answers might not be what I want to hear. They might be messy and ugly. But, we are 35, if I can’t grow enough balls to tell someone that I want to be more of an us, rather than a you and a me, I have no place in the adult dating world.
Of course, it’s easy to say. We had an amazing night together on Thursday. We checked out an awesome rock dance band, had a great dinner, some really great sex and some good morning smooches. No breakfast though, I opted to spend the time getting him off, rather than feeding him. Some mornings scream for a grab n go snack in order to properly usher in the new day.
Perhaps I could have brought up the topic of what I am feeling on Thursday, or Friday. Today even. Sigh. I’m nervous. There isn’t a time that feels like the “right” time. The perfect time. I don’t want to make him feel pressured, I don’t want to stress him out. I don’t want to hear the possible rejection. He turned out to be more awesome than I originally thought, than I originally planned.
Today, I found a card at Whole Foods that said, “Anyone can be cool, but awesome takes practice.” I instantly thought of him, now, as I am home, I decided to look up the quote. I nearly pissed myself as I saw that the quote comes from a devotional for teens. Jesus Christ, no shit. The website says the following: “If there’s one thing cool teens need to make that next step to awesome, it’s definitely reading books about the Lord and then working on a 13 week Lord-loving program to help them deal with their inabilities to be totally awesome.”
I think I have a whole new appreciation for Type Geek’s awesome-ness now. Apparently due to his sheer level of awesome-ness, which due to the epic heights of its reach, in the mind of Lorraine Peterson, he must be a religious experience. The oral sex IS pretty great. Maybe a small cult following would be fine. It appears that his design expertise already has some cultish fans, perhaps I can arrange for special privileges at the cult’s ranch compound in the desert; to have the man behind the experience, all to myself, for some special one on one user experience tutorials.