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Archive for September 3rd, 2010

Stand in the place where you live
Now face North
Think about direction
Wonder why you haven’t before

Type Geek decided, on a whim, to hike the rainforest this weekend. Ok. Well, I guess that I found out about it via Twitter rather than from him, is what is bothering me. All I think about lately is where I stand with him, and where I think I want to stand. We need to talk, but I am afraid of the answer. I don’t think it is what I want to actually here.

If you are confused, check with the sun
Carry a compass to help you along
Your feet are going to be on the ground
Your head is there to move you around, so

I needed to test a theory, and perhaps it isn’t ethical how I am doing it. No one gets hurt in the process though, except perhaps me. Will the damage be  less painful this way though or through actual confrontation? It’s the way of getting the answers, without asking the questions.

Your feet are going to be on the ground
Your head is there to move you around
If wishes were trees, the trees would be falling
Listen to reason
Season is calling

I am not sure how to end this post. My dilemma of late is this… I am at a threshold. I can choose to care more for him or walk away. The fork doesn’t provide a third option. I am too far in from casual to begin dating other people again while dating him. It isn’t what I want. I realized that he really is an awesome guy, whose company I enjoy immensely and who I have lots of fun in bed with.   Am I ready for the official “boyfriend” thing. No, I don’t think so, but I am ready to not be trying to juggle and wonder. It would be very nice to be comfortable and at ease, without the questions.

I am going to keep myself busy this weekend with saying goodbye to one friend and helping another with some style advice on Sunday before a day of cleaning, sorting and eBay placing on Monday. I am not contacting him again until I hear from him. He is back on Monday night. Let’s see what he has to say. He mentioned coming into my night job on Tuesday with his best friend. I have stopped setting my watch by his whims. We shall see what the new week, and the new season brings.

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