A week and a half ago Cooper Fiennes and I had a discussion about a woman he works with. There has been some innocent and, at times, not so innocent flirtation between the two. She is part of a larger group of colleagues that have all become great friends and they do a lot of social activities together. That is wonderful.
Now, here is where my rational and irrational minds fail to agree. I am seeing two men, casually, at the same time. One of them leaves in January, for another country, over a vast ocean. I can’t begin to feel jealous or protective or generally bummed out by his flirtation with this woman, or the possibility that it may become something more than friendship between them, because I will lose him in 6 months. Plus, I am sleeping with someone else. It’s hypocritical of me to one week say, “listen, if you sleep with her, it’s OK. I am fine with you having a casual affair with her.” and the next week to be jealous because on their camping trip they bonded even stronger. I cannot, and do not, wish to compete with her over him. Whatever will be, will be. Whatever is meant to, will. Am I surprised however? Surprised that I am feeling a bit bummed out to hear news that should they go on a trip that they have been planning, a trip that would be just the two of them, that something sexual might happen between them? Yeah, I’m feeling funky about it. I have no right to. I have a date with Type Geek tonight and I know we are going to have sex and then I am going to come home right after because I have a new job in the morning. Rationally, I have no place feeling badly. This is a little more complicated than I was expecting and perhaps, since I am still riding the hormones of my period, which ended yesterday, I will feel better in a few days. But, perhaps I won’t and then… then I need to sit down and consider all of this, don’t I?
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