Ok, SO, remember my Johnny Cash loving neighbor? The incredibly shy man from the January 23rd post? Ok, well, him. I get this email through Match from him last week and I shit you not, he actually propositions me. NOW, he didn’t want to date me. He didn’t even want to email me back about a doggie play date. He just did the… if I don’t respond she will go away, eventually… because he doesn’t know how to say,” You know, I had a nice time, BUT, I’m not feeling a ton of chemistry, so, good luck and sayonara”. Now, nearly 5 months later, he is feeling desperate and thinks I might fuck him? Umm, awfully presumptuous, no? I mean hell, if I am not getting enough respect from you to provide a kind and timely response to a friendly doggie play date when I am clothed, why should I expect you to be respectful when my clothes are off? I have to like you as a friend to fuck you and feel somewhat respected.
So, I told him I found his email odd and while not exactly offended, I was rather unnerved by it. He then responded back several times asking if I wanted to have a drink and wanting to know about the men I am casually dating. I don’t put out this easy. I may be horny, but I am not desperate.
Anyone out there ever had the awkward bootie call request that came out of left field? How did you respond to it?
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Actually I have had that happen a few times. Even with one guy that I never met. They think if they tell you that you’re beautiful enough you’ll give in. Or, if they hound the shit out of you enough, you’ll give in. Blows my mind.
hey, very interesting blog, i love the way (clever) people talk about their sex live on the web. as a guy i have to say this: yes, simply loosing the contact to a “partner” is not very nice, sure, but saying “hey, we had a nice time but i don’t feel like this can get bigger” is much much much worser for women (and men). this can destroy a girl, sorry, that’s just what i experienced. the open confrontation, the “i-dont-want-you-you-are-not-good-enough-for-more” is the worst thing you can do to a person you like. so i think the “let’s loose contact without speaking about it” is the better way. if the guy had said the real cause he don’t want to fuck you anymore you would hate him. if the guy had said something nice but not the truth you would hate him. if he just didn’t react you would hate him. sorry, but i haven’t heard any respectful, nice, maybe-we-will-meet-in-future-like stories about this in my entire life. is there any respectful way to do this ?
Chris,
Well, he never wanted to fuck me to begin with. We didn’t have super chemistry and that was that, I was fine with that BUT the, we are neighbors and both have dogs, let’s be friends thing that never occurred, is what makes me laugh. He had numerous opportunities to casually hang out in the hood, as friends, and establish ANY type of rapport, rather than allow 5 months to go by with silence before contacting me via the dating site for sex. He phrased the proposition like a favor to me as well. So, because I had told him that I was exclusively a lesbian for over 12 years and suddenly found myself interested in men, in the way I felt I should have been in my youth, but wasn’t, this confession opens me up to him offerring himself to me in a casual context… BUT, not right after the confession… months later, as an after thought. As if no one else would have been interested in me and I would JUMP or CRAWL at his offer. I told him that I was casually seeing two other gentlemen and that was that.
As for hating him because he tells the truth, I am not that kind of gal. A) He wasn’t interested enough to fuck me in the beginning. You know what, neither was I. That’s fine. One of my current casuals, Cooper Fiennes, the Spaniard, he and I have a very honest and truthful arrangement. It’s fun while it is, we both know how it will end and we will just enjoy the middle. I think that it is possible for two mature adults to have a casual relationship that is physical and not act irrationally. BUT, both parties need to be on the same page. We like each other and each other’s company. We respect each other AND we are realistic about what we are, which is, quite simply, lovers. No feelings get hurt. We walked in, or stripped down, with the conversation and arrangement already in place, so there were NO misunderstandings post coitus. Sure, we cuddle, we hold hands, there IS romance… but for the fun of romance, for the love of attraction, not because we are building picket fences together.
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