Archive for March 31st, 2010


Can I be angry that I met him? Now, during all this chaos of his? The timing, I mean, what does it mean? I DON’T want to hang out with other people, I want to hang out with him. SIGH, motherfuckin SIGH. Why did he come looking for me and why did he find me now? He’s not ready for me. Well, he is the one that said hi, and continued to say hi and eagerly said, well HI. So, how do I deal with this? How do I pretend I didn’t meet someone who feels like they were always there? Like they aren’t new. Like they’ve been there forever? How do you disengage from that? Should I even disengage? Am I being impatient? I’m not asking for some huge committment from him at the moment, I just don’t want the connection to go away. Feeling so plugged in to another individual that silence says more than words. UGH and SIGH. So, what do I do with all this? I can’t sleep at the moment. It’s been raining and raining and flooding outside, the crazy barometric pressure has my head wanting to explode and I have tons of work to do for various projects I am involved in. Yet, I am not distracted enough by any of that to forget about him and how good it feels just to be sitting next to him and holding his hand, no words, nothing besides that quiet connection that screams louder at me than anything I can remember.


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