Archive for January 8th, 2010

There are so many douche bags on these internet dating sites. Tonight there was one instant messaged me and said, “Hey Sexy Baby”. The kicker being, the dbag is 22. I am almost 13 years older than him. I had sex before he knew how to read. Click, Hide, Block, Buhbye

On one of the sites I belong to, I have had an onslaught of older men approaching me. On one of the others, a myriad of boys in their young 20’s. When I told one that  “I don’t DO guys in their twenties”,  (I know, I wasn’t listening to it as I typed it. I meant it like… I don’t do black coffee, I don’t do mornings, etc)  of course he responded that “if you change your mind, I sure would like to do you”. Oh my GAWD. Another youngster, 23 years old, tells me that he would like me “to be his older experience”. No thank you. A 25-year-old boy from England tried to chat me up by telling me that “a) age is just a number and b)that’s what planes are for. Where there is a will, there is a way.” Supposedly, he had decided that I was the older experience he wanted to do and was willing to deal with visas and security lines to get to me. I’m good, but I am NOT that good.

I am tired. I spent 5 hours staring at the different sites, trying to get inspiration for tonight’s post when I was feeling completely frustrated by the lack of interesting men out there. I understand that interesting is highly subjective, however, honestly, they were NOT interesting. But then as I troll the sites, the nasties see I am online and start coming out of the woodwork as if I am a fish with a paper cut swimming through their nasty shark infested waters. They can smell my blood through that little paper cut and want to pounce. Luckily, my new laptop is perfectly designed for quick manuevers out of undesirable IM chat discussions. And click and hide and block and gone. It’s becoming a dance move almost.

Did I mention how incredibly tired I am? Tomorrow is going to be a triple shot day. My ass is numb from sitting on my yet refinished couch and I am just staring off blindly as I see chat windows blinking in my periphery. 25-year-old law school student who likes the naughty librarian look. 32-year-old straight edged punker with full sleeves, and back. That is interesting. I look very mild now, almost conventional. I blend in. Interesting that he would see past that and still say hello.

I am signing off. I am going to bed. I am going to snuggle with my puppy while all the 20 something and 50 something sharks swim through the waters of the virtual dating world as I sleep safely tucked in and away from them and their wish to put their testicles all over me. You know, like an octopus. Yes, tentacles, big difference. Except to some of these boys, not much.

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: