I knew walking into this one that we were not matched, but he was such a nice guy and I really felt like I should say yes to a coffee date. Who knows, right? I have been wrong before , umm, hottie wasn’t vapid, remember? So, I had some errands in the area he was going to be in and offered up that if he wanted to accompany me on my errands then he could have me for a few more minutes than I would have to spare otherwise. He agreed and we met at the bookstore, which happened to be convenient since it was also one of my stops. I couldn’t find what I wanted there so we passed and headed off down the road, battling the arctic tundra, to the pet store for my dog’s frozen raw bison. Can we all get a synchronized “nomnomnom”? Yeah, not really. I get it. After we ran those two errands we settled in for some tea at Peets. He told me about his vasectomy last week (thanks for that visual buddy!), how his dad was murdered (wtf?!), how he has a grandchild already at 42 (wtfwtf?!), and that he loves hunting! Umm, great. Thanks for playing. I gotta pee dude. Be right back. Oy
Funny enough,while I am in the rest room (am I really resting in there or should it be more aptly called the avoidance room ?!) my phone alerts me to an incoming text. Gavin Depp from last night is saying, “Hi ya. What’s up with your day”, me “Just running errands and finishing tea at Peets”, gd “My office is around the corner”, me “swell, I’ll drop by with a hot chocolate for you”.
I come out of the bathroom and let Mr. Vasectomy Hunter Guy (Funny that now, he’s shooting blanks at the game he hunts. HE HE He h… That was not funny, I know. he he?) know that I had a business meeting I needed to get to shortly and that I had a great time, that it was great of him to come out and meet me for “coffee”. I then ordered Gavin Depp a hot choco and myself another tea and wandered over to his place. It was amazingly cold, by the way. With the windchill… single digits. I walk for what feels longer than necessary and find myself at a street with a half missing street sign. The part missing will determine whether this is the street I need to walk down. 2 cars ignore my motioning, 2 stop but have no clue and another stops, identifies the street (the one I need, thankfully) and then proceeds to chastise and scold me for being in the middle of the street. Umm, hey buddy, you turned the corner as I was talking to the driver of another car. Should I have been 15 feet away and shouting? I digress. he was, quite obviously, a douche bag.
I get to Gavin Depp’s place, am introduced to his employees as they are running out the door, and settle myself into a big “executive” office chair as I watched him finish up his work. He rolled my chair over to him while he finished up and I hand fed him bacon chocolate in between calls. That smile of his makes you want to throw him against a wall. It’s THAT sexy but also quite sweet and innocently charming, at the same time. So bad.
He takes his last call and sits back, looking at me for a bit. He is very cunning in his acts of seduction, although they can be seen through, the manner in which he executes them is slightly endearing and not at all creepy. “It’s been a long day, come lay with me for a bit”. Of course he wants to make out. I am not naive. I am a oversexed lesbian coming off a solid 4 years of celibacy and very interested in exploring men. He could have looked at me and just said, “wanna go to my bedroom and make out for a couple hours?” Ummm, yeah. Of course! The lights go off and he half pretends to want to take a little nap. Really? A nap? I am so onto you buddy. Actually a half hour later I am on him. We make out, its fabulous, I still want to carry his lips around in my pocket and at one point the hand starts navigating under and below the top of the jeans… a playful hand slap occurs. I have to draw a line in the sand. This could go one of two ways and since I am obviously seeing multiple people (I don’t want to be THAT girl) and also because he is oh so very good, I would like to draw this out and if no one else interests me, until we find it unbearable and have to give in or implode.
Did I mention just how very very hot this man is? It’s not legal. It can’t be. Perhaps that is why he works from home. He is a fugitive, in hiding for being far too attractive for the streets of this sad little city.